weren't meant to be

Be sure you didn't miss the ATR ch13 commentary!!

I promised to babble about FtPverse RepliNami and this mix, so, here we are~!

You can read ATRch13 (or Remnants ch67) if you'd like, and if you haven't yet you should, but I will admit that this mix serves as more of a resolution for the two of them than the chapter alone does. Or, at the moment, anyway.

It still gives me warm fuzzies, though, to think about this mix, to think about FtPverse RepliNami where it stands---to think it will eventually hit this point, will eventually resolve itself like this. It's not a happy ending together for them, but it's a happy ending regardless. I can't tell you how happy it makes me that one of my favorite ships was able to be explored through FtPverse, and the crossovers, and be brought to this point.

It's wonderful

weren't meant to be from rarmaster on 8tracks Radio.

Art is by mrbenvey @ tumblr--she's got some REALLY stellar art and you should definitely check it out, tracklist is here if you really want it

I'd been wanting to do a FtPverse "Repliku getting over Namine" mix for a while, kinda taking songs like "Over Thinking (acoustic)" by Relient K and "So Soon" by Marianas Trench ((which went in Riku's first Dead Inside mix, and Riku's "I (love)" side of the RepliNami mixes, respectively))

It was a good idea for a mix, but other than that (and more song stolen from the RepliNami mixes) I was really only.... getting... a "generic break up" mix and........ well......

Then I found Arcadia by the Kite String Tangle and I was like "HOW ABOUT MAKING THIS FROM MORE THAN JUST RIKU'S" and after that it started shaping up to be a pretty nice mix, though I should probably also credit that to "Adagio for Strings" by Bastille, because I heard that and was like "wow but that shoulda been in one of the Repliami mixes" but I wasn't sure where to put it, so I decided to put it in this mix

So this mix turned out to be a sorta overall "Repliku getting over Namine" mix, but is in a lot of ways also how I've interpreted their relationship throughout FtPverse, from CoM to now.
Granted, The RepliNami mixes (Lie vs I Love) also are "how I interpret them in FtPverse", especially with their titular songs and "Lie to Me", "So Soon", and "White Blank Page"---I suppose the difference between the RepliNami mixes and this mix are that this one was very specifically made for FtPverse, and covers more than just the events of CoM and immediately after it


Anyway, I wanna break this down song by song now

Totally (not) serious SoShad mix

I kept forgetttttttting to do this poooossssstttt ugh

but

Totally (not) serious SoShad mix from rarmaster on 8tracks Radio.

I made a totally not serious mix for SoShad. I'm not sorry in the slightest.

image credit /// post credit 

THIS PROBABLY,,, WON'T MAKE,,,, A LOT OF SENSE IF YOU HAVEN'T READ CH231 so why don't you go do that here

But we're here to go.... in depth.... about all the songs because I got a lot out on it and felt like it should go over here too (initial post from the ftpverse tumblr)

I actually tend to do this for all playlists--or 2/3 playlists and these can all be found on the ftpverse tumblr under the playlists tag

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING FANCY TO SAY HERE (ch168) (also song analysis wut)

NOT REALLY

I mean I got KH1.5 and cried over Days and started through KH1FM while drooling over the pretty graphics and even prettier remastered music and also grimacing at the change in colors that the heartless got because now they just look ugly

SO I WAS GOING TO POST A PLAYLIST because I actually had one that was a fitting mood for this chapter

But then I remembered this song existed:


and uhm

feels

*curls up into a little ball ugh the songs fit them so much*

NO BUT LET ME TALK ABOUT THESE SONGS REAL QUICK

Okay so I have a post about the original song -- Lie by Luka
The song above is the answer song-- I (love) by Gumi (I posted a cover because Gumi's not meant to sing english haha)

AND JUST BOTH OF THESE SONGS

here quick link to Lie if you haven't listened to it yet/for maximum feels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPPoJ6FaLM4 ('nother cover because I love Juby's voice)

Lie is the events of CoM from Namine's POV--or at least towards Repliku. My Riku

Like the entirety of the song is just her saying "No. This isn't real. Why do you think it is? I hate that I've put you through this. You don't really love me. This isn't real! We aren't-- UGH!" (along with a little of her lying and saying that everything's okay because she doesn't want to hurt him/Larxene just walked into the room hah)

Let's just do an analysis

     Why can't it, be perfect?
     This love's not, even real
     Why don't I, cry for you?
     Love was dead, from the start
~I don't even need to explain it's so obvious

     I don't want you
     I don't need you
     I'll forget you
~she tries to argue

     It doesn't matter

~not that it works because he's terribly stubborn

     I'll play along
     Writing our song
     We are perfect
     I love you

~she'll play along because she has to. She has no other choice. (Though she wouldn't actually grant him with an "I love you"--that'd kill her. the lyrics aren't PERFECT)

     No, this all wrong
     Why aren't you gone?
     I know you're not that strong
~because he's so frikken stubborn and he's holding up her weight and putting up with all the crud the Organization puts him through and he shouldn't be that strong but somehow he is well he really isn't and it baffles her and frustrates her

     Don't listen to me
     We'll always be so perfectly
     Happy
~But she has to play her part and keep the truth from him even though she hates it and it's hurting him

     The lies you, succumb to
     Blissfully, unaware
     I don't know, how you can't
     See through my, facade
~also obvious because he's believing all her lies and it drives her nuts and hurts her and she doesn't know how he hasn't managed to see through it yet because she's not very nice to him and 

and

AND Y'KNOW THAT SONG WAS BAD ENOUGH

But then I found the answer song. I (Love). Which if you try and tell me it's not Repliku singing I just- I can't. It is. It so is and it's so painful.

LIKE I DON'T EVEN NEED TO DO A BREAKDOWN FOR I (LOVE) BECAUSE IT IS SO OBVIOUS

He sees her lies and he knows they're there but that doesn't change anything because he still loves her. He will always love her.
He knows there's nothing between them--that he's nothing to her--but that doesn't change anything because he loves her so much. He loves her so, so much.

AND THE HEART BREAKING PART
THE FRIKKEN CHORUS

I won't let him steal you from me
I'll save you and then you'll love me
I won't let you do this to yourself
I'll save you, were perfect together
LIKE I CAN'T EVEN

Because he would have that frikken mindset.

He doesn't want to let Sora steal her from him.

"I'll save you--then you'll love me."

AND THAT IS THE WORST

Because princesses don't fall in love with the knights that protect them. They fall in love with the heroes who rescue them. And his life is one big fairytale and Namine is his princess but he is the knight. He wants to be the hero but that's not a role he's fit for.

And- and then I wrote a thing and Larxene made it worse and I'll post that later (you should probs remind me?)

and I just

feels

Go listen to those songs and cry your eyes out. Please. I listened to both of them on an endless loop while writing this chapter.

AND IF YOU WANT MORE FEELS I do have an entire RepliNami playlist but also you should listen to White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons along with Anything for You by Evanescence

ladskjfdslf

ANYWAY!

Ahh, handy link to ze chapta!

And zen ze tumblr notes (which are a little lacking whoops)

And uhm

As for what I have to say on this chapter...

well let's start with Sora's half (even though it's not what we're all having feels about by this point)

Whoop Roxas is bringing out the big words

WHOO YES

YES

SORA LIKES BEING 100% POSITIVE ABOUT WHAT HE’S DOING yes I like this I did a thing where Iinterrogated him with prompts and some of the prompts were really vague and he got very frustrated about it 

(unfortunately that's just the interrogation tag I linked to--I didn't have a tag specifically for Sora's interrogation and it's way too many posts to retag)

Sora has negative reactions to light just like Ven has to darkness. Hmm

I really like this scene oh my gosh

*cackles evilly*

and Riku's scene

*muffled sobbing*

I actually wrote this like two years ago and so it had to be edited quite a bit (not to mention put in nightmare format)

The sequence is in italics but Riku’s thoughts are regular text I mean it’s a dream sequence idk I’m allowed to take liberties, right?

THE BITTERNESS RIKU REGARDS THIS SITUATION WITH REALLY HURTS

Ooh I can’t remember which phrases from this scene I’ve splattered elsewhere. Certain lines stick out to me though, so I guess I’ll copy them down word for word just to be safe

Shoooot ow ow ow my heaaarrt

You’re making it worse

Riku knows this scene. Inside and out. he knows what is happening. But as much as he wants to stop it, he can’t. He can’t and it’s killing him.

No but Riku spends the first bit of the nightmare getting himself situated but it doesn’t take him long to become conscious and conscious of the fact that it is a memory and he knows which memory it is because it’s haunted him forever

*sobbing*

Namiku Playlist

I don't know why I didn't do a post on this... I should've...

(also expect a Namiku blog in 5 minutes kay? I just have to read through it and make sure it's fit to post)

~

My Namiku Playlist (listen)

       Touched by Her Hand - Two Steps from Hell

       Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

       Gift of Life - Thomas Bergersen

       In My Arms - Dead By April

       Breathe Into Me (acoustic ver.) - RED

       Right Here - Ashes Remain

       Run - P!nk

       Cry on my Shoulder - Overflow

       Not Alone - RED

       Undone - Lifehouse

       In Your Skin - Lifehouse

       Make me Over - Lifehouse

       Goodbye for Now - Two Steps from Hell

       She Is - the Fray

       Anywhere but Here - Safetysuit

~

(also on tumblr)

AND BECAUSE I LIKE HAVING REASONINGS FOR SONGS

here are my reasons for picking out each song/why they give me feels. (It's in very simple terms but breaking them all down?? maybe another time)

Also, hey, I'll give you the line that gives me the most feels, kay? (and there's a * next to the songs that give me the most feels)

Touched by Her Hand

            Official Namiku theme.

Your Guardian Angel

            Riku protecting Namine. Simple as that.

“I will never let you fall - I'll stand up with you forever - I'll be there for you through it all - Even if saving you sends me to heaven”

Gift of Life

            Ties in witch ch133. Mainly in here because of that reason.

In My Arms *

Them looking out for each other, protecting each other, or at the very least holding each other through the pain because there is a lot of pain in their lives

“Don't give in, don't let your, memories break you…

In my arms you'll be fine…”

It was hard to pick a good line… the entire song gives me feels

Breathe Into Me *

            (Acoustic because I like it better and it’s a bit more raw)

            Again, them looking out for each other and stuff.

“And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain - And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away”

Right Here

They’re always there to protect each other, comfort each other, I’m being repetitive but that is literally the core of their relationship

“I can see every tear you've cried - like an ocean in your eyes - All the pain and the scars have left you cold - I can see all the fears you face - through a storm that never goes away - Don’t believe all the lies that you’ve been told”

Run

            Another protection-feelsy song

            “I wouldn't hurt you, like the world did me - Keep you safe, I'd keep you sweet”

Cry on My Shoulder

Namine comforting Riku. Because he’s got a lot of pain, too, and she wants to protect him just as much as he wants to protect her

“You say you're falling apart - Reached the end of the line…

…You just want to feel loved instead of all the pain.”

Not Alone *

            More being there for each other and helping each other through the pain

(This is literally all they do in Dead Inside. Or at all. They are very rarely happy and cute lol)

“And everything's gone but the pain carries on - Lost in the rain again - When will it ever end? - The arms of relief seem so out of reach - But I, I am here”

Undone

I feel this song reflects that hurt/comfort aspect of their relationship (though tbh I don’t remember adding it to the playlist so my reasons for WHY are a little skewed. I mean it fits them but pegging WHY EXACTLY I DECIDED TO PUT IT IN THE PLAYLIST again)

“Tell me everything you need now anything at all - And I will be the one who's waiting anytime you fall”

In Your Skin *

This song is specifically directed at Riku, and, in this case, Namine’s the one singing it. It gives me a lot of Riku feels because it’s all about breaking down those walls you built up and letting go of all the lies you’ve made yourself believe about yourself

“Give in, give it up, you're the only one believing in all of your lies”

Make me Over

            Sort of Riku agreeing to the last song I guess

            (That is my reasoning for it. Tbh though I’m only 50% into this song for Riku but)

“Wrap my arms around your name - Feel your breath against my pain - As I breathe out… the past is gone”

Goodbye for Now

I think this was supposed to be their book 5 theme but I’m also pretty sure I changed it. Oh well. It sounds like it could fit them.

She Is

            Riku realizing how much Namine means to him *cough cough*

“This is going to bring me to my knees - I just want to hold you close to me”

Anywhere but Here

And realizing that he really doesn’t want to leave her. Ever. (And vice versa because she feels the same)

“And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true - That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you”

The Fighter (massive ZackxAerith feels)

Let me just embed the song real quick...



But seriously this song gives me so many ZackxAerith feels, especially for my fic sldkfj just... gonna do a song breakdown yeah?
It won't be much the song speaks for itself really

The Fighter - the Fray

This is going to be a bit different, because, again, the song speaks for itself.

Keep in mind:

the Lover = Aerith

the Fighter = Zack

The lover held her love
She begged him not to go
The fighter wrapped his gloves
The fighter said "I know, I know, I know
Just this one last time
I swear you'll still be mine"
But he can't promise much
He goes for one last touch
One last touch

~okay so this is... well, it's Zack leaving Aerith for... I don't know another quick trip 'round the worlds or something. One more round of fighting dangerous monsters. Just one more time. (It's more metaphorical than it is literal but that's most of this song). One more time, then he'll come back, and maybe he'll stay. At least, he'll stay for a while (can you imagine Zack sitting still c'mon he's about as bad as Riku). But he promises he'll come back, and they'll see each other again, and then he leaves

Maybe we were meant to be lonely, lonely
Maybe we were meant to be on our own
Loneliness has always been with me, with me
But maybe we don't have to be all alone

~This is Aerith. Just. Reflecting on it after all that's happened and I guess that's what this song is as a whole. Idk just thinking 'bout that right now. It's her... retelling her story. As someone else's. But it's not and it's her story and it hurts so much. *cries* Sorry. But yeah you get what I'm going for I'll move on.

The fighter goes inside
The doubt is creeping in
He swings with all his might
At all that might have been
And she's in love with him
But lovers don't always win
He never even saw the swing
She calls out his name, calls his name

~again more metaphorical than it is literal, but literal songs are usually crap anyway so. This is Zack starting his final battle. (I always imagine him entering some creepy haunted/deserted mansion with this line like that one place in Crisis Core. Where is it? Starts with an M... Modeoheim. Anyway yeah that's what I think of for some reason *shrugs*) This bit would actually make a good AMV/movie montage.

But this is him, and he's fighting, and he gets distracted and he doesn't see the fatal blow coming and he falls and she knows and she screams and runs to him not really but that's the way the song makes it feel okay?


Maybe we were meant to be lonely, lonely
Maybe we were meant to be on our own
Loneliness has always been with me, with me
But maybe we don't have to be all alone

~And here she is repeating it again. Because she's really been lonely after he died and it's really been eating away at her and sometimes she just can't handle it but maybe, just maybe, it doesn't have to be that way


What breaks your bones
Is not the load you're carrying
What breaks you down
Is all in how you carry

~She knows. She knows this so much because she's been through it. What really hurts isn't the physical pain. It never is the physical pain. It's the emotional pain that runs so deep sometimes and you really can't put up with it so you ignore it and that only makes matters worse. And this is exactly why she and Riku understand eachother *cough*

~And so we resume the story...

And this is the part where I'm in tears because:

The lover held her love
She begged him not to go
She unwrapped his gloves
The lover said "I know, I know, I know"
Kissed his trembling lips
She touched his fingertips
But somehow they both know
He's not coming home, coming home

~Wellthingsdon'thappenquitelikethatbutshutupit'ssobeautifulsobs
I just. I don't have words. It speaks for itself. She finds him and he's dying and she can't save him and asdlkj I can't *ugly sobs*

Loneliness has always been with me, with me
Maybe we were meant to be on our own
But I got to try or it will destroy me
Cause maybe we don't have to be all alone

~And this last bit is her reaching out again because, really, there is no reason to be so alone. Yup yup. *is still crying too hard to give you something proper I'm sorry this song*