I promised to babble about FtPverse RepliNami and this mix, so, here we are~!
You can read ATRch13 (or Remnants ch67) if you'd like, and if you haven't yet you should, but I will admit that this mix serves as more of a resolution for the two of them than the chapter alone does. Or, at the moment, anyway.
It still gives me warm fuzzies, though, to think about this mix, to think about FtPverse RepliNami where it stands---to think it will eventually hit this point, will eventually resolve itself like this. It's not a happy ending together for them, but it's a happy ending regardless. I can't tell you how happy it makes me that one of my favorite ships was able to be explored through FtPverse, and the crossovers, and be brought to this point.
It's wonderful
Art is by mrbenvey @ tumblr--she's got some REALLY stellar art and you should definitely check it out, tracklist is here if you really want it
I'd been wanting to do a FtPverse "Repliku getting over Namine" mix for a while, kinda taking songs like "Over Thinking (acoustic)" by Relient K and "So Soon" by Marianas Trench ((which went in Riku's first Dead Inside mix, and Riku's "I (love)" side of the RepliNami mixes, respectively))
It was a good idea for a mix, but other than that (and more song stolen from the RepliNami mixes) I was really only.... getting... a "generic break up" mix and........ well......
Then I found Arcadia by the Kite String Tangle and I was like "HOW ABOUT MAKING THIS FROM MORE THAN JUST RIKU'S" and after that it started shaping up to be a pretty nice mix, though I should probably also credit that to "Adagio for Strings" by Bastille, because I heard that and was like "wow but that shoulda been in one of the Repliami mixes" but I wasn't sure where to put it, so I decided to put it in this mix
So this mix turned out to be a sorta overall "Repliku getting over Namine" mix, but is in a lot of ways also how I've interpreted their relationship throughout FtPverse, from CoM to now.
Granted, The RepliNami mixes (Lie vs I Love) also are "how I interpret them in FtPverse", especially with their titular songs and "Lie to Me", "So Soon", and "White Blank Page"---I suppose the difference between the RepliNami mixes and this mix are that this one was very specifically made for FtPverse, and covers more than just the events of CoM and immediately after it
Anyway, I wanna break this down song by song now
1 - This Side of Paradise (Coyote Theory)
This song is off to an absolutely wonderful start with "ask me why my heart's in my throat--I've never been I love I've been alone"
Overall this song is just a CoM attitude "if you're lonely come be lonely with me", Repliku to Namine, hinting at how they are all each other really has (besides, like, Sora, who Repliku kinda hates and Namine is feeling guilty towards--not to mention it was them and them alone who had to face the Organization's cruelties), they are each other's only rocks right now, and that's all he ever wants to be to her.
They really could only rely on each other during that time, and even then, they could only rely on each other so far--"so if you're lonely, come be lonely with me"
2 - All You Never Say (Birdy)
This one hits me in the gut with the first verse, as well. " You've been searching... have you found many things? // Time for learning... why have I not learnt a thing?"
my Riku to magik's Namine--I guess more vague than anything else, but him asking her if she's found happiness, if she's found what she's looking for and could never find in him
That, vs him--he's had all this time, why hasn't he changed, why hasn't he learned to be stronger, to be someone better? Not even in terms of ~relationship~ or ~impressing her~ or ~letting go of her~ just the fact that he's still as scared and broken as he used to be, and it frustrates him.
Then the chorus, of course, which is obvious "All you never say is that you love me so, all I never know is if you want me, oh"
GOSH AND THEN LIKE THE NEXT TO VERSES!!! This isn't entirely about Namine, but about my Riku in my universe especially during the "Shipping Riku to HB" sequence
"Are you uncertain? Or just scared to drop your guard?"
"Have you been broken? Are you afraid to show your heart?"
Weh it's about him and how he's scared to open up again scared to love again because he doesn't think he can be loved back, doesn't think his Namine can love him, doesn't think he even deserves to love her because he loves magik's Namine still, loves her so desperately.
Idk if you want to interpret it as Aerith to him or my Namine to him, but, yanno, it's one of them. It's probably Aerith. I dunno. But sighs very deeply
ALSO!! The verse after it which I wasn't even paying attention
But only sometimes
You're giving up before you start
Sighs again that's definitely Aerith to him, definitely how I would sum up the "about Namine" part of the ch174 sequence.
3 - Adagio for Strings (Bastille)
I think this was my first legit intro to the Other People's Heartaches albums, and let me tell you, starting up the first album and being graced with this song which is SO GOOD and SO REPLINAMI was amazing
"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!"
I could sit here and keep quoting more lyrics from it to say "these also remind me of RepliNami" but I think I don't need to. The song as a whole, those repeating lyrics, along with the strong beat and sort of "creepy" or "dark" vibe that Bastille gives off in these albums... The desperation in Dan Smith's voice, just.... everything that pulls this song together. Everything. It's such a good song. Bastille is such a good band.
((I said on my post about this mix on tumblr that I heard this song and my kneejerk reaction about 30 seconds in was to slam my fists on the table and just replinami. replinami repLINAMI REPLI!!! NAMI!!!!!))
This song also sorta ties into All You Never Say-- "all you never say is that you love me, what is love? baby don't hurt me..."
Along with the "I give you my love, but you don't care"
4 - The Ice Is Getting Thinner (Death Cab for Cutie)
This is yet another song that's perfect within the first verse. "We're not the same, dear, as we used to be. The seasons have changed, and so have we."
This is where it ties in to her telling him that they're different now, that things are different now, that they both have changed so much in all this time.
That was then, this is now. I've changed. You've changed. We've moved on.
5 - Arcadia (the Kite String Tangle)
YET AGAIN within the first verse it's shaping up to be really good. "Oh, how things have changed. You're in a whole different place, and I've strayed from who it was that you knew."
And the like my favorite line from this first verse is the "We're parallel sinking ships"---their destinies are intertwined, connected by the Organization, from the moment he was created. But they're both doomed to be tragedies, him to die, her to be forgotten by Sora..... He lives, she is remembered, but still. From the start, they were nothing more than two ships destined to sink, and never to be together.
Followed by "you were anxiously reaching out, but I'm losing my grip" which I described as him reaching for her, clinging to her, but her unable to hold on. Her unable to support this relationship, when she's not even invested in it, PLUS she's got to juggle Sora's memories and the Organization and she just... she just can't do it.
The chorus is obvious "You were trying to make it work, you were sleeping in my shirt", Namine to Repliku
And there's the "I was hoping that you cared, I was distant, I was scared" which I'm not sure how you want to break it down because assigning it to Repliku might be breaking it down too far, and it's also fun to consider this from Namine even if it doesn't quite make sense. I dunno.
Then what is my favorite line of the entire song "Sometimes things don't come full circle". I don't even know WHY it means so much to me but it does. It does.
6 - By Now (Marianas Trench)
This song makes me cry about them and I know it comes off as a generic breakup song but I
"It's time that I come clean, but for now, can we both pretend to sleep?" He's got a lot to say to her, she's got a lot to say to him, but for now, can they put it off and pretend that everything's alright, just for a little longer.....
AND THEN IT REALLY HITS
"Sometimes the one you want is not the one you need" I DON'T EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN though it does kind of call back to "So Soon", also by Marianas Trench, which was in the I (Love) mix, which was Repliku's POV. I dunno if I wanna call it a callback just because they're both on the same album. That's probably all it is
Then the next line "What goes around don't come around" is a callback to Arcadia's "sometimes things don't come full circle" and perhaps that's the only reason I like that line in Arcadia, when it comes to it. They just tie together and I'm really happy with that.
"You should know me by now"--this is just them. They know each other so well after all that time together in CoM, all that time suffering together in CoM, you should know this is how I'll respond, this is how I'll act, this is how I'll treat you
The song keeps going and the line that hurts me THE MOST
"How can one of us still feel blessed while the other one's so lost"
This is her story vs his. All the Pieces vs Dead Inside. She is blessed with friends who love her, with people who care about her, with happiness with a happy happy happy life
While there he is for most of Dead Inside, taking a good one hundred and seventy four chapters before he realized he can be loved, before he realizes he deserves love, before...
She is so blessed with those who love her
And he is so so so lost, not thinking he deserves love, not knowing where he stands with ftpverse Namine, entirely, stuck leading a Rebellion he doesn't care about and hating himself hating the cruelty that lies within him
It's a cold, harsh parallel, and it's very true
She was blessed
He was lost
7 - Say Something (Great Big World)
This song is so cliche and used in so much but when you take it, when you take the chorus as Repliku to Namine
"Say something, I'm giving up on you."
"I'll be the one if you want me to."
"Anywhere I would've followed you"
"Say something I'm giving up on you."
Specifically I'll be the one if you want me to
and anywhere I would've followed you
((also "i'm feeling so small" is a call to by now's "i'm seven inches tall", I just realized that right now, wow, goodbye))
"I stumble and fall, I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl"
He isn't very well experienced in how to love, how to be loved, and he has to learn
And the kicker:
"You're the one that I love--and I'm saying goodbye"
This is him letting go of her. This is him looking at her when she says they've both changed, and agreeing. "Yeah. We have changed. That was then. This is now. I still love you. I may always love you. But I'm ready to let you go. I am so ready to let you go."
8 - Unspoken (Hurts)
This song is really bitter, especially with all the "I'll forget about you"s and "I'd rather be lonely than by your side", but compared to Say Something, this one felt SO MUCH more like a resolution, perhaps if only because of the tone, perhaps because say something ends on a plea that isn't answered, so it needs another song after it to finish it off, to tie it up
This is really the end of it, really him moving on
"Nothing that I could do would ever be enough for you"
This is him giving up on her as he promised to do, letting her go as he promised to do, thinking "I will always love her but she is not who I want to spend forever with, she is not who is most important to me anymore."
And I really really like the last lines
"Nothing you could do could save us this time...."
I dunno if that's him saying that, if it's Namine saying that, or what, but it's a nice way to end it off. There's nothing he can do to save their relationship, nothing she could say to change his mind.
Things have changed. They have changed. They have moved on.
He has let her go.
To sum this up, there was a quote I found on tumblr that describes them, describes this, perfectly:
"Sometimes true love is unselfishly choosing being healthy over being together."
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