Hello I'm here to talk about Aerith/Leon dynamic

Playing FF8 recently has obviously got me thinking a lot about how it fits into FtPverse, and the latest topic of discussion has been

The circumstances of little Squall's birth



Me and magik have adopted the canon for our universes that Winhill = Radiant Garden in it being the Place where Laguna shows up after being injured in war or, whatever (the exact circumstances in FtPverse are up in the air) and also being where Raine lives.

In my consideration of Raine living in Radiant Garden, I considered "what if she and Aerith's mom (Elmyra, btw) knew each other?" and that was an idea I liked immediately.

So! Laguna shows up, injured, Elmyra heals him up, and then Raine offers to let him stay in the spare room at her place until he's 100% again and ready to go, whenever that may be. Obviously, they fell in love, got married, this still follows the plot of FF8, no major changes except the setting.

One day Ellone is kidnapped by Adel for yet undetermined reasons, and Laguna leaves an unknowingly pregnant Raine behind to find her. This still follows the events of FF8, though in FF8 Ellone eventually got sent back to Raine---that is not the case here. Raine dying shortly after giving birth to Squall is, though.

The assumption from there had been "Raine's dead, Laguna's not going to come back, so Squall ends up in the orphanage."


Then I got to thinking:

If Aerith's mom, Elmyra, knew Raine well, and they were good friends..... why, exactly, would Elmyra let Squall, one of her best friends' son, go to an orphanage when she's perfectly capable of taking care of him (and at least at the beginning there was pretty sure it was only until Laguna returned).

So.

Aerith's mom raised Squall.

Aerith and Squall are literally siblings.

This is 100% canon, and I haven't been able to stop grinning about it for the past two days because it's such a good idea, it's such a good dynamic, and it adds an extra element to the "Zack and Aerith tag along for FF8" thing but also as to FtPverse as a whole.



Of course: they both know they're adopted, but that doesn't change the fact that they consider Elmyra their mother, nor the fact that they consider each other as siblings.


Also: Leon most likely introduces himself as "Leon Gainsborough" and that makes me the happiest person alive. (If you wanna get sad about his name change from Squall to Leon, please click here.)


SO YEAH!!! THEY'RE SIBLINGS AND IT'S REALLY COOL!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO WRITE MORE!!! OF THAT!!!!! MAYBE!!!!!!!! It'll definitely happen when I write FtPverse's FF8, but that's a long way off.

In the mean, thhough time I've updated their character pages (Aerith's, Leon's) with this info and further details about their relationship as siblings.

I also edited Dead Inside ch102 so that it, specifically, better reflected the fact that they're siblings.

Other chapters of Dead Inside are yet to be updated because I still have to go through all of the ones with Aerith and or Leon and see what needs to be tweaked, and other things (like, writing ATR,) have to take priority over that. But it should happen eventually, and, I'll be sure to let you all know  when it does!!



WHOO!!



.....oh yeah, for anyone wondering about Aerith's birth.

Similar to FF7 canon, her biological mother, who's name I've forgotten, shows up dying on Elmyra's doorstep with a baby in her arms. Elmyra can't save the woman, but she takes the baby in and raises her as her own. (This happens just a few months before Raine gets pregnant with Squall.)



SO YEAH THAT'S IT ANYWAY LEON AND AERITH ARE OFFICIALLY ADOPTED SIBLINGS AND IT'S REALLY GOOD, GOOD DAY!!!! ENJOY YOUR SIBLING FEELS!!!!!

Shad Changes Because of Sora/Shad loves Kairi

Ah yes there is a lot to cover here

maybe i'm just miserable from rarmaster on 8tracks Radio.

First a Shad mix

And then I'll put the discussion under a break because that's the Professional Thing to do, plus I guess if you haven't finished Dead Inside yet this is spoilers

This goes with ASAS ch71 by the way
(and also touches on Shad being Bound to Sora, which is another scrapped idea)

The Dead Inside Package

Most of this info is actually included in the Dead Inside Package itself, but I figured a lot of people might want to know this stuff before actually downloading the thing, so here we are.


What is the Dead Inside Package?

The Dead Inside Package is a collection of 500+ pages and 200+ word documents of extra content, also including the 1000+ page file that is the Dead Inside doc itself, and a lot of pictures.

The full count is 824 files, and 63 MB.

A list of extra content includes:

• brainstorms
• outlines for Dead Inside (nearly) in full
• plotting
• the OFFICIAL timeline
• extra facts about characters and more
• scrapped scenes
• original drafts (for like ch185 and more)
• a lot of notes and explanations concerning what each document is and how it fit into the creative process
• pictures like the recolored manga panels I did, talk sprites, things I drew/edited for the series, and so on

Why'd you even make a thing like this?

Good question! See, I absolutely love extra content like this, but, unfortunately, you rarely get anything extremely extensive like this unless it's a movie. Video games sometimes have extra content like this, and same with tv shows, but when it comes to books? No luck whatsoever.

I figured since I loved this stuff so much, maybe some other people do, too, and would appreciate something like this. I didn't really see a problem with giving all this info out. I edited it all very carefully to remove spoilers, and included notes to give a deeper understanding of how Dead Inside was made.

Admittedly, it doesn't document the making of Dead Inside in full, but it does give a dang lot of info on my creation process and the development stages. Neat.


Aren't you worried about someone stealing your ideas or something?

Not really! The thought has crossed my mind, but... it's all fanfiction. It's not like I can claim legal rights to this anyway. Besides, this is all info concerning things that have already posted--you can't steal something I've already put up.

("But there's a thing called reposting work--" yes I'm well aware of that. People could already do that with my work before now.)



That's actually all I can think of to say! Everything else should be covered in the Package itself, and if you have any questions, just leave a comment below!


You can download the Dead Inside Package here.



Is it safe to download?

I know I didn't slip a virus into it, and no one besides google has touched it, so.... there's no reason it shouldn't be safe.

How do I download?

Click the link. The download button will be a the top. It looks like this:







That's definitely everything! Enjoy!


EDIT: that was not everything

A lighter version of the package has become available for download. By a lighter version, I just mean a collection of my outlines from Dead Inside ch100 or so and on.

It can be downloaded here

I thought these were the most interesting to look at, out of the entire package, because they showed the evolution of Dead Inside in very obvious and very tangible ways. (Plus they're color coded and I make lame jokes.)

But really, they showed the evolution of Dead Inside as I scrapped things, added things, moved things around, and I thought maybe people would like to view these separately without having to commit to 700+ files. There are like, 10 separate outlines. Have at 'em

Happy 4th anniversary!! (ch238 commentary)

Thhhhheerreee's no special anything going on this anniversary

I mean. I can say I've finished Dead Inside though! And we're only like.... 8 chapters from it all being posted (so like another month haha.... ha.....)

IN OTHER NEWS I wanna recommend you all a fun story called the Ballad of Edgardo

I can't describe it any better than the tumblr post does:

A story that happened to an anonymous RPer years ago.
Anyone will be able to appreciate it (and trust me, you will), but if you are kinsmen or kinswomen to me, if you ever had to experience the shittiest of RP forums and their terrible userbases, particularly that one guy that does whatever he wants and is an asshole that clearly godmods but gets away with it because the actual mods don’t give a damn, you will find the beauty behind the ballad that much brighter.
Just trust me on this one. It’s not a particularly long read, either.
I hope you enjoy The Ballad of Edgardo

Read it here. Trust me. You won't regret it.

Now, have a FtPverse 4th Anniversary Celebratory Mix

FtPverse - the mix from rarmaster on 8tracks Radio.

Tracklist here, and I have sources for the Namine pic (which you should remember from the Meltdown Project), and the Roxas pic--the rest of the pictures, which you should know, are either official or drawn by me. Except that SoKai pic which I still can't find a source for.

Most of the tracks in here are kinda vague and more related to Dead Inside than anything else, but after making all the soundtracks (which you can get quick links to on the soundtrack page) I didn't feel the need to include obvious songs in this mix like "Breakeven" or..... whatever I would've put in for Riku ("Rebirthing" or... maybe something Linkin Park??)

I'm also going to take a moment to promote the FtPverse's Official Tumblr. Why? Because it has a dang good tag system (as in I actually took the time to tag separate books + am not embarrassed to tag pics as characters because it's not my personal blog)

You don't have to follow it. But please, please keep it in mind if you're ever in the mood to browse FtPverse related material

Anyway, Chapter Time

Were you thinking Riku not telling Namine about being a Replica was stupid?

It's fine if you were. I was too.

But then I realized:

Throughout Chain of Memories Repliku was always really bitter towards Real Thing and about being a Replica in general.

"Just because you’re real doesn’t mean your better!" — which as a quote alone sounds like he truly believes that. He’s not lesser because he’s a Replica.
But you have to remember how bitter his voice is and how he looks to the side to avoid looking Real Thing in the eye and how he clenches his fists and everything about his body language is anger and frustration. He’ll say he doesn’t think he’s lesser but in reality he does.

You can hear it in his dying speech too. Before he confronts Riku. He’s so upset and so angry and so disgusted at what he is because he’s a fake and everything about him—his appearance his power his memories—is borrowed and he hates it. 

He hates being a Replica

And in the Truth Hurts when he’s all fresh out of remembering that anger and disgust towards himself and what he is, maybe it’s no wonder he doesn’t tell Namine. He would want to protect her from feeling that disgust he’d want to just forget he ever felt it.

Him not telling her is really no surprise, if you think about it. It’s just a result of him hating being a Replica so much.

Yes, he eventually grows out of that and comes to term with being a Replica and accepts it and accepts that it’s not a bad thing. But how soon he comes to that conclusion is up for debate an then of course he doesn’t want to tell Namine because him not telling her alone is enough to freak her out or make her angry at him (two things he’d want to avoid).

So maybe it’s not a surprise at all

Sure, it's a little ridiculous, all things considered. But he's got reasons for it.

((this post is also on tumblr))

LET'S TALK TIMELINE!

Aka, the nine-part discussion I had about my timeline




That's part one, and the links to part 2 and on are at the end of the video. Well, the link to part 2 is in the end of that video, and the link to part three is in the end of part 2-- you get it

I'd put 'em all in a playlist or something, but all but part 1 are unlisted so I didn't bug my subscribers.

Also check out

20 minute discussion on my Vexen/Even and how he and the Replica Program fit into my timeline

15 minute discussion on how R fit into the timeline along with thoughts about viruses and creation order of the Replicas

Andd.... that's it!

Be sure to check out the timeline page, too!

(Also, there have been a few anniversary posts over on the fic's tumblr... and there might be more...)

Soo.... ages?

So, I plotted out an OFFICIAL timeline for my universe. (the OFFICIAL has to be in CAPS okay? Okay.)

But before I post it (seeing as I have to recolorcode it so it'll look alright on this blog) I'm going to talk about ages. Of. People. In my universe. And why I put them at the ages I put them at

Fun.

let's start with...

Ven
Okay, so, I put him at 15 in BBS. I suppose he could've been 16, but... *shrug*
He's also 15 in Dead Inside, seeing as he didn't age at all, so that puts him at about the same age as Sora. (A few months older, technically. I'm sure he'll be turning 16, soon. I haven't worked out birthdays for a lot of people, though. I should. Another time.)

Terra
He's 18 in BBS, meaning he's also 18 when he get's 'norted. Of course, Terranort/Xehanort-in-Terra's-body still ages, so by the time Xehanort finally turns himself into a Heartless and respective Nobody, Terra's body has aged to about 21, maybe 22. (And then Xemnas/Ansem's age is up for debate because I'm pretty sure Nomura himself said Xemnas was in his 30s but?? Nobodies are weird.)

Aqua
19 in BBS.
I know, what? She's older then Terra?
Well, I've seen a couple of headcanons floating around that at least imply she's slightly older than him, and the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. So she's 19 in BBS.
Assuming time in the Dark Realm passes as 1/10 of the rate of normal time, she's about 20 when she returns in Dead Inside. (She was only in the Dark Realm for seven years in my canon, so... yeah... she technically hasn't hit 20 yet)


Now for the fun stuff!!

Zack
Oh I had trouble with him... but I finally put him at 18 in BBS. I know, he looks like he's 16 or even younger in canon but that would cause a little problem called "if he was 16 in BBS he dies at 19." Ahaha no.
No. I mean, he dies at 21 if I bump up his age to 18 in BBS, and that's still pretty young, but I really couldn't push his age any higher. Maybe, maybe he's 19 in BBS meaning he dies when he's 22 but that's... eh...
He's OFFICIALLY 18 in BBS and 21 when he dies, but I could bump it around if I wanted to.

Aerith
Aerith's easy, once I got Zack's age figured out. (Actually, everyone does). Because she's a year younger than him in-canon. At least I think she is. Well, I made him a year younger than him, anyway, which makes her 17 in BBS, 20 when he dies, and then 24 come the Truth Hurts/Falling to Pieces/Dead Inside. (They all happen within the same year.)

Cloud
I made him a year younger than Aerith, again, like I think he is in canon. So he's 16 in BBS, 19 when Zack dies, and 23 come the Truth Hurts.

Tifa
Is one year younger than Cloud, again, according to canon, so she's 15 in BBS, 18 when Zack dies, and 22 by the Truth Hurts. (Not that we see her until Dead Inside, but it's not like her age changes. At all. Again they all happen in the same 10 months. A full year will have passed by book 5)


Now... let's do...

Sora
Sora's easy-peasy, and I'm mainly putting him here for reference. He's 7 in BBS (due to my timeline getting bumped around, remember?), 14 in the Truth Hurts, and then he turned 15 in Dead Inside. (In-story, it happened during that week gap between ch133 and ch134)

(If you're curious, Kairi is the same age as Sora, but she won't be turning 15 until just-after Dead Inside. And I mean that very literally. Provided everything goes as planned, her birthday is 3 days after Dead Inside concludes.)


now...

Yuffie
Well, Yuffie's supposed to be 2 years older than Sora, which puts her at 9 in BBS, 12 at Zack's death, 16 in the Truth Hurts (like in KH canon)
I'm not sure if there's supposed to be an age gap between her and Cloud I was supposed to be keeping (magik mentioned one) but I don't think I'm that far off from it? Am I? *shrug* (tbh I really don't care. I can't change Yuffie's age, and though I could change Cloud's, I like his age at what it is.)


and I still have...

Leon
I actually was lazy and made him the same age as Aerith, making him 17 in BBS, 20 when Zack dies, and 24 in the Truth Hurts.
Magik had him older in her universe, but, idk. My only idea for Leon's age was "you need to be older than Cloud". So. I made him older than Cloud by a year. (I could've made him Zack's age, but I didn't want to for some reason, and idk if I wanted to make him a year older than Zack either. So. Yeah idk I think Leon's age works just fine.)


and that's everyone, except

Cid!
Okay so Cid's age isn't 100% OFFICIAL. Maybe 97% official. (There's a difference between official and OFFICIAL.)
Basically, I was like "what if I made you ten years older than everyone?" and that makes him 27 in BBS and 30 when Zack dies and 34 in the Truth Hurts. Which seemed. Reasonable.
But I might change Cid's age. Idk. (Like Leon's, though, this seems reasonable enough to go with.)


AND THAT'S EVERYONE!

I mean, I don't plan on dragging any other FF characters in (I've only played a little of FF8 and FF13, and certainly not enough to be comfortable with writing for their characters. So. Yeah.)

Wait!

KKBeckett was asking about Riku and Namine, which I left out due to the fact they haven't aged much. (I mean they've aged by 9 months but it's only 9 months) I'll cover them and a few others

Riku
Riku was not alive during my BBS, nor canon BBS, and he wasn't alive when Zack died either. He was created at the physical age of 15, and was still 15 on the arrival in my universe, and since he's only been here about 9 months (maybe 10 I forget) he's... well... still 15. He'll turn 16 about a month before book 5. Whoohoo.

Namine
Well, she wasn't created until the Truth Hurts, and she was created at the physical age of 14. Seeing as, again, it's only been 9 months (actually 8 months since she was created, since she was created at the end of the Truth Hurts) so... she'll be turning 15 a month after Riku turns 16.
Tbh I think her birthday is, like, three or so days after book 5 begins? Two days. the OFFICIAL Calendar says so (though all events on the calendar that have not happened yet--birthdays aside--can technically be moved around, so the timing for book 5 isn't OFFICIAL, it's just official)


and let's do...

Roxas
Well, he's created to be the physical age of 14 back during Falling to Pieces, and it's only been like four/five months since then, but I think his age was bumped up to 15 when he was Rebuilt

Xion
Was 14 for the entirety of her short existence. Yay.

Joseph!
Well, I don't have an exact date on which he was created, but he was probably created at the physical age of 9 or 10 (depending on if he was created one or two years before Dead Inside)
by Dead Inside, Joseph is 11. Possibly going on 12?
I have a problem with Joseph, called he changes age every month.
Like he was about officially 11 during Nothing's Fair, but he seems to be 12 in Dead Inside, and I suppose he could've had a birthday somewhere in there
and also he's trying to be like 14 in book 5 and I'm like no. (I can't even fudge 13. actually if the whole him-being-11 thing isn't true and he's actually 12 in Dead Inside then I can fudge 13 in book 5 but wow Joseph you make my head hurt worse than Cid)

Update!! Again!! This is only concerning Joseph's age tho--
Thanks to the OFFICIAL timeline (and putting his birthday in December which is that gap between Nothing's Fair and Dead Inside) I was able to make his age pretty concrete
He's created at the physical age of 10, and turns 11 before the Truth Hurts! This makes him 11 in Nothing's Fair, but given his birthday's in December, he turns 12 before Dead Inside. Yay!
I can't fudge him being 13 in book 5 anymore, but he's technically only a few months shy of 13 during book 5, so I guess it's not too big of a deal

And yeah my head hurts now so I'm going to stop (plus I don't even want to try with ages for the Org members. Yech)

I know I've totally been spamming you with posts

(please check this post for other things that have been going on around the blog)

but this one is sort of important

I finally drew out what Aerith's house looked like!!

YAAAY!



BUT, OF COURSE

IF YOU'D

RATHER

NOT SEE

AND JUST STICK WITH IMAGINING IT

IN YOUR HEAD

WITHOUT MY CRAPPY DRAWINGS

RUINING

YOUR

IMAGE

OF IT

THEN BY ALL MEANS DON'T KEEP READING 

YOU DON'T HAVE TO 

IT'S COOL

anyway hopefully you've backed out at this point if you didn't want to see it

This is the basic overview of the bottom floor:

That image is sort of small, here's a link to the larger version

It's the front room, the kitchen, then the dining room. I mean, really, look at the larger version and it's all labeled pretty strait-forwardly

I know the layout's a smidge weird, with how it all just kind of blends right together, but if I were to write it all out, it's the front room, then you've got a doorway into the kitchen, and the wall thingy that's at the bottom of the kitchen, and past that a little pathway which you can walk to the dining room, while the stairs are on the bottom wall, going up of course
And the dining room is the same just backwards

Again, I know it's weird, but you've always been able to see into the kitchen from both the dining room and the living room, which means the layout had to be a little like this--it's also been basically like this for a while in my head, I just haven't drawn it out until just now

Also, you've always been able to see into the front room, the kitchen, and the dining room from the stairs so I had to put them in a relatively central location too

(hopefully you'll be able to read my handwriting. I didn't think it looked too bad--I labeled where the garage might be if there was one but that's because it doesn't look like it said garage in my handwriting aha the g was all smushed)

Here's a full view of the front room

I labeled everything in this one... idk why

(link to full image if you need it)

But it's pretty basic. There's not much in the front room besides the two couches and the coffee table, and then I'm positive about the bookshelf by the couches (along the top wall), and pretty sure there's a second bookshelf along the bottom wall

As you can see, I can't make up my mind where the storage is--it moved between this image and the last... but it's definitely in that general area

And then idk about an armchair. Usually there's just the two couches, but I've mentioned an armchair in my head around book 5? Maybe they get an armchair and add it in between Dead Inside and book 5-- the couches aren't quite enough to fit all of the company they have, y'know? 

Last image, this one focusing on the kitchen

full image link

the kitchen is the one I'm least sure about... I kept messing with the layout...

But, what I know for positive, is that the sink is on the top/north wall, and I'm fairly certain the fridge is on the bottom/south wall--it's always been there in my head

with the kitchen, though, the bottom wall is... well, I had it describe as one of those island counter thingies, but that doesn't work if the fridge is there, also there's always sorta been a wall there in my head, but I know that you can see into the kitchen if you're walking down the stairs, which obviously you couldn't do if there was a wall

So I guess there's a wall, but there's a window over the counter--I think I've seen a kitchen like that before

make sense?

Also, the stove placement isn't official. It could go on the same wall with the sink, I suppose, but it made most sense to have it opposite the sink. I don't think I've seen any kitchens with the stove and sink on the same wall...

And, yeah, I know it's a little weird to have the stove not up against a wall, but my grandma's stove is on an island thing sorta like this so IT'S POSSIBLE. I'm not crazy. It COULD WORK.

Anyway, that's all

Well, I mean, I don't have a picture of what upstairs looks like, but upstairs hasn't been much important to me. It's a hallway and rooms?? also I can never figure out how the layout should work--I can only think of it working one way and I don't really like that one way so....

No drawing of upstairs until I get creative

I might eventually either build the house out of legos--the bottom floor, anyway.

Or maybe next time I see my friend I can start up Sims 3 or whichever one she has/uses frequently and I'll build the house on there. (I have wanted to do that except I don't see my friend all that often and her having the Sims with her or me actually remembering to ask to borrow it never happens)

The lego thing is more likely

And, yeah, I will post pictures.

Now, I think that's all I had to say!

I might've had something else but I talked about the pictures, upstairs, then possibly building the house with legos/on the Sims and I'm pretty sure that's all I had to say.

So....

Yeah

clever title here

Things you may have missed

That post about Sora I still want you to read if you haven't

Roxas's updated character corner

The blog on ch154 which includes links to the chapter from 26's POV and Roxas's POV


And now the review replies I want to do

DIch154 from Exodin
(I did reply to this privately, but for those of you interested:)

No, the final showdown between Sora and Shad won't happen until Endgame. Which we are still a few major plotpoints away from.

As for Roxas, I was pretty adamant about not bringing him back. Ever. So, a lot of you thought I wasn't going to. Then I changed my mind. But it was a good idea and I enjoy writing him and that's all that really matters.

And concerning whether or not Sora and Roxas will meet... I won't say anything, but if you want an answer, try browsing through my tumblr.

(Those weren't all the questions asked, but I did reply to all of them privately and these are just the ones I felt other people might be curious about. If I missed one you'd like answered, lemme know and I'll answer it. It's not a problem.)


DIch154 from Flightfoot
Roxas has a few basic fighting protocols pre-programmed into him, but besides basic hack-and-slash, I'm not sure if he'd be able to do much else right now.
(He really didn't do anything when attacking Riku, after all)


DIch151 from KKBeckett
It's what Vexen does :P

As for the other question--concerning Riku and Namine being telepathic--it got its own blog post


DIch153 from Flightfoot
Yup! (Riku's not too happy though)


ASASch46 from KKBeckett
Riku and Namine are cute when they're being telepathic. And they get worse, too.

I don't think Vexen's happy you're laughing at him, btw xD


ASASch46 from archsage
Yup :D
And, no, you're definitely not the only person who thinks Riku and Namine need to kiss soon. Pretty sure the "fanbase" has been waiting for over a year now. (I'm just taking forever I'm sorry. I can't pour myself into writing without draining myself and I'd rather this be enjoyable than finished quicker and finished quicker than including stuff I don't need to)


DIch149 from KKBeckett
It won't work. Riku is always mopey. Always.


DIch154 from Peach
Aww, but I love Xigbar! :P

I get that he's annoying, though


OH LOOK BIG RESPONSE TIME
OH BOY
HERE WE GO

DIch148 from KKbeckett

KKBeckett asked:
Question, what's the difference between Rebuilding a Replica and simply
constructing a new one? Why Rebuild Roxas as opposed to simply creating
another? I mean, forget morals for a second, these are logical replicas we're
talking about. (And a very illogical but still logical Xemnas).

Ooh... okay. Actually, there isn't much of a difference. When you Rebuild a Replica, you are basically constructing a new one, and then copying over all the data/memories/etc. of the dead Replica you wish to Rebuild.

As for why they ended up Rebuilding Roxas and not just creating a new Replica capable of using the Keyblade, well, Axel was probably very insistent on it being Roxas and refused to help if it was anyone else. Since they needed his help--he knew where the external is and was probably careful not to tell anyone--they couldn't really say no.

I mean, they could've just built a new Replica instead of Roxas once they had the external, but I don't see why it would've mattered much to Xemnas. He'd get a Keyblade wielder no matter who it looked like.

Also, the only data they have of a Keyblade wielder--besides Roxas--is Sora. And Sora's data... with all the darkness... would create a very unpredictable Replica. Because, y'know, Sora was fairly unpredictable back during Falling to Pieces (when they gathered the data) so you really couldn't avoid making an exact Replica of him just as unstable.

Roxas was a very stable Replica, so they probably figured they might as well just reuse his data. 

Because, removing the instabilities from Sora's data--removing the darkness--leaves you with very little and trying to create a Replica out of that results in unstable Replica, like Xion. 

Odd, yes, that removing instabilities just results in unstable Replica, but Sora's instabilities are in his attitude and resulted from his darkness, and that would carry over to a perfect Replica of him and you don't want a Replica with an attitude and darkness problems. Xion's instabilities, however, were caused mainly because there wasn't enough data inside her to keep her running. (That, and they didn't even finish processing her, because they figured she was just a full-on mistake and not worth it.)

Roxas was created through the same methods as Xion--though he had a bit less data removed so he'd hopefully turn out better--and it was a miracle he even worked. 

So, I can see why Xemnas is perfectly okay with just reusing Roxas's data--which is stable and guaranteed to work--rather than try and create a new Replica through the same methods Roxas and Xion were created and risk the chance that the new Replica comes out like Xion and not like Roxas. They really did believe they only had one shot at building a Replica, and they weren't going to blow it by wasting their time building a mistake like Xion.

Yeah. That was long and a bit round-about, but I hope that covered it. Whew.


ALRIGHT, THAT'S ALL

Just thought I'd let you know that I am now done replying to reviews in bold and caps yeah

Ooh yay let's talk some more about Riku and Namine being telepathic!

Alright, so KKBeckett asked:

Why are Riku and Namine telepathic? I feel like it's always been something
that just IS, but it's not, because they're just now coming to realize it now.
What changed? Why now? Why ever?

~

As for the why, I do believe I sorta answered that here (in my first post about them being telepathic).

technically, that post would sort of get into why it's just now coming up, but I have another reason

I suppose it technically is something that just... has always been there between them, because they've been at least semi-telepathic since the Truth Hurts. However, it hasn't been until about now (I think ch130 was when it first came up?) that they started being telepathic to this extent.

Because, yeah, they couldn't sense what was on each other's minds (or Namine could sense what was on Riku's), and there's always been that little connection between them, but they've never been able to actually hear each other's thoughts before. 

And, it certainly is new for Riku. His side of the connection has always been weaker, so he's experienced the telepathy to only a minor extent, while Namine's been hearing Riku's thoughts off and on for at least the past two weeks.

(Also Riku's probably a little flustered because, uhm, wow I'm really close to Namine :P)

So, yeah, they've always been a little telepathic, but never before have they actually communicated telepathically, which is why it throws Riku for a loop.

As for what changed and why now?

Well, my first post discussing them being telepathic gets into that. The current theory is that Edd ended up blocking that ability from Namine back in the Truth Hurts, and it's only just now slipping through the blocks. The other explanation I can think of is that it, like all other magical abilities, just takes some time to develop and flesh out fully, so while you may know the basics of it, over time you learn more about it and other things you can do with it.

(I only really have two theories because I am very apprehensive about making anything involving Edd canon for some reason)

And then, why ever?

Well, I'm assuming you want the out-of-story explanation... (the in-story one was given in the first post discussing this).

I just... there's always been a connection between them. Ever since Falling to Pieces. So them being flat out telepathic was something that came easily, and something that felt completely natural. For the life of me, I can't even remember when or why I decided to go with it, because they've been telepathic in my head for a long time now--it's only just showing up in-story.

To be honest, the telepathy wasn't supposed to even show up until book 5 (or post book 5. One of those two) but, I figured, if they were going to be full-out telepathic in book 5, then they'd need to discover the ability (considering it's not something that's been always there--or at least they weren't aware of it before, if it was) and they'd need to develop the ability and learn how it worked. Why shouldn't I cover it in Dead Inside?

we are getting close to the end, after all. It takes only another month of in-story time.

So, yeah.

I think that's everything.

If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Okay so about Sora

I am going to rant

because I am pissed

(please pardon my language, I blame tumblr)
(Also forgive my rudeness, but I'm a bit frustrated and I'm explaining this to you flatly because doing it politely clearly didn't work)

I am getting really frikken tired of having people complain about not seeing a lot of Sora recently in the fic. I get that it's been ages since you've last seen him, but I warned you up front that the Heckuvalong Raid sequence was going to be 13 chapters. Count. We have one chapter left.
Well, okay, two chapters. There's a 14th chapter that is a bit of winding down after all that, but after that chapter, you will see some of Sora.

I'll be honest with you though, and tell you that it's only a chapter with Sora. Half a chapter, really.

I'm sorry. Actually. No I'm not.

We've hit the point

With Dead Inside being 153 chapters posted and 163 written

being 625 pages

being nearly 300,000 words. Yes. 300,000.

With Dead Inside being this long, I am doing everything I can to finish it, and not take another year doing so. (I've already been writing it for nearly two years, now.)

I get that Sora and Riku's stories used to be balanced at the beginning, and that you've gotten used to seeing him, and the fact that you're seeing less and less of him is getting kind of frustrating.

But I just want to finish Dead Inside, and not spend three months stressing over how to properly write a ten chapter sequence with Sora when I can barely squeeze out three chapters.
Actually
I can barely squeeze out one chapter with Sora in it anymore.
(And yes it would take three months. This 13 chapter sequence of Riku's took two months. Think about it.)

Would you rather more Sora, or me finishing this before I'm 30? I'll admit, 30 is an exaggeration, but 20 sure isn't

Actually, I'm the author, and I'd much rather finish this before I'm 20--I want to finish it this year!--so, yeah, less Sora. Forgive me.

Listen, I know that this 13 chapter sequence with Riku wasn't necessary. I could've just left it at nine chapters, or, even better, given you that half-assed attempt at a first draft of this. (Just kidding, that first attempt was awful).

But I had that chapter title trend going and it only worked if I could do 13 chapters. So I wrote 13 chapters. And, to be honest, I think they're fairly well written, and maybe only that scene with Namine (ch151) was filler. The rest is either plot important, or really cracks down on development on Riku's character.

And, yeah, I get that I didn't even have to bring Roxas back at all, but I really loved the idea, and it did fix that major problem of "what the f*ck has the Organization been doing? Have they really just been sitting around and doing nothing all this time?"

Besides, it's a bit too late now, seeing as I have 12 out of 13 chapters of the sequence posted.

And as for Sora, yes, you will see some of him in the future. It won't be hefty 10-chapter sequences like you get with Riku, but it will be some of him. Just wait two chapters. Then you'll see him. I know it'll only be half a chapter and it's not much and I get that you want more but I can't give you more right now

I wish I could, but I had a scene--I scene that I really love and can't wait to write and yes involves Sora--that I had to push back because the timing was all off if I did it after this sequence. I wanted to. I wanted to have a sort of long sequence (at least three chapters, which is long knowing my standards for Sora lately are about one chapter if you're lucky) with Sora after the Heckuvalong Raid sequence. I wanted to have a Sora sequence between the Heckuvalong Raid sequence and the next Riku sequence more than anything, because the next Riku sequence will be at least ten chapters.

But, again, the timing didn't work and I had to move it back.

So, yeah, you will get two nearly-15-chapter sequences with Riku right next to each other with hardly a break in between. I am sorry about that, but I can't put off this next sequence with Riku any longer. It has to go now. And, yeah, it is a very major plot point. The last major plot point (on Riku's end) before THAT. If I didn't give it 10 or 15 chapters, I wouldn't cover everything I needed to cover, and then THAT wouldn't work.

On the bright side, you will get two sequences with Sora--one of them being a large plot point--right next to each other with hardly a break in between.
However, with how hard it is to write for Sora lately, no promises on the sequences being anywhere over five chapters.

(Also, I may consider staggering Sora's next sequence with Riku's sequence, but I have to really think about how it'll work and all that other stuff. I could maybe do it, but... again I'll have to think about it.)

Anyway, that's sort of it. I was much more polite here than on tumblr

But, I'm going to ask you not-so-politely to stop complaining about not seeing Sora. I know that there's been less of him lately. Don't think I haven't noticed, because I have. Hearing one--or three--of you complain about it once a week gets on my nerves, and I have enough stress going on in my life right now. I don't need this on top of it.
HOWEVER! By all means, ask about Sora if you have a serious question about him. Just don't complain that you haven't seen him in ages because I explained exactly why you haven't above and if you still have a problem then I can't help you.
(And if you really want to discuss my reasons for not writing for Sora frequently, please keep it to the comments of this blog, and don't bring it up in a review. The comments work last I checked.)

Let me clear something up

This is like, the fourth review I've gotten over time where someone's like "sounds like Riku's falling into darkness" and I know my canon is all over the place with me retconning things (especially things that concern Nothing's Fair) left and right, but... This post is to clear things up.

For starters, I don't see why just because he's using darkness more frequently automatically makes people think "oooooh, he's gonna fall into darkness!!" because... he's just doing what he's been programmed to do. Darkness is his weapon, and he is going to use it. We don't think Real Thing's gonna fall into darkness because he uses darkness frequently in KH3D, do we? No.

Replicas cannot fall into darkness. The darkness cannot tempt them, and can't  really affect them, at least... not from the outside. Replicas' immunity/resistance to darkness is about 10 or 20 times better than any normal person's. It's sort of like they have a shell that protects them against the darkness on the outside, but if the darkness gets in, then... well, we see the effects in Riku, don't we?

See, Shad's meddling in ch110 sort of... broke through that protective shell that Riku has. He was pouring all that darkness into Riku, and Riku was unconscious and not resisting it plus he was half-dead... The darkness got through Riku's shell. So, now Riku not only has darkness inside of him, but he has a lot of darkness inside of him.
And that's we're seeing in currentish chapters. His darkness isn't the set amount of data-darkness inside of him that he was used to. It's real darkness. It's real and alive and has something of an attitude, not to mention there being a lot of it now. So everything concerning his darkness, especially right now, is going to be iffy and uncomfortable as Riku tries to get a better handle on how to use it properly. (It's been just over two weeks since he was super-infused in ch110, so he certainly doesn't have a handle on it just yet.)

And I know the darkness has certainly been affecting him ever since Shad's meddling, and if ch137 is any clue, I suppose the darkness has indeed been affecting him to a scary extent. But just because the darkness is affecting him doesn't necessarily mean he's going to fall into darkness.

Falling to darkness is, actually, most likely the least of his worries.

If there's anything he needs to worry about, it's the possibility that the darkness will consume him until there's literally nothing left. Sort of... eat him from the inside out. And I mean that literally. Like, the darkness will eat at his data until there's hardly any data left to hold him together. (Of course, if that were to happen, it'd probably take a few months--six, maybe--until it was serious.)

"I'm getting so sick of blocking bullets" (ch146)

(Have a convenient link to the chapter)

First off!

Why am I uploading a chapter when it's only Sunday? And what happened to that ASAS chapter I mentioned?

Well, I'm uploading on a Sunday because I'm writing 11 chapters ahead of where I'm posting and it's bugging me.

As for the ASAS chapter, it was an original draft that was really kinda crappy and not terribly interesting so unless you want to see it and let me know that you want to see it, you won't be seeing it.

Second off!

Review Replies~ (the glorious one I have...)

DIch145 from Peach
Starting with the second bit... (first bit requires a longer answer)

6 Xehanort Replicas are what Vexen was forced to build in magik's universe, and that is what he's referring to.
No, I suppose it's not as bad as KH3D, but in our conjoined universes, KH3D isn't relevant. (Besides, have the Xehanort clones actually done anything? No. No they haven't. They tried to make Sora their vessel, but didn't get anywhere with it because Axel showed up, and that's actually kind of lame of them. Just saying. Magik's Xehanort Replicas--as of right now--were more of a nuisance.)

26 is with the Organization. I know there's a lot of Vexen Replies (44 total, about 20 mentioned, 8 that play a largeish role in the story), but if you ever need help with them (or any Replica) try my "Replicas" page up on the top of the blog. (Or have a link to it)
The Replicas page lists basic facts about which Replica is which, and should tell you who's side they were on. Pretty sure that's on the page... for the most part...

HAVE A LIST OF WHO'S WITH WHO JUST TO BE SAFE

With the Rebellion
2
4 (but he’s disabled)
6
7
19
22 (he’s dead)
23 (he’s a traitor)
25
29
35
41
Alpha
Amaryllis
Thistle
Tulip (was rewritten and is now with Saix)
Snapdragon
Lotus
That one Lexaeus
Riku
Namine
Joseph
Toby

With Saix
5
4 (was, but is disabled and now with the Rebellion. ish)
11 (dead)
13 (dead)
17 (dead)
23 (traitor to the Rebellion)
27
31
34
37
All the Larxenes (for the most part) (approx. 20)
None of the Zexions
Bloodroot
Chrysanthemum
Tulip (was rewritten, however)
Ivy

With the Organization26
Xigbar’s clone

~and then there's a quite a few Vexen Replicas and three or so Marluxias who are unaccounted for. (As in they aren't officially dead or officially on any side.)

IN CASE YOU NEED TO FIND THIS LIST I've labeled this post under "important stuff" and will also be adding a link to this post on the "Important Posts" page. Or is it "Important Links"? Well, you know what I mean.

~

NOW TO THE CHAPTER

OH! And! Exciting news! Now my chapters have tags on tumblr! I started liveblogging my writing on tumblr, and so all the things under the chapter tags are my reactions/posts relevant to the chapter (music suggestions)/other stuff. Yeah!

(There isn't a lot of stuff for ch146, but later chapters end up with more posts.)

Check out the #ch146 tag!

As for music suggestions: "1000 Ships of the Underworld" and "Velocitron" both by Two Steps from Hell. Both can be found under the ch146 tag on my tumblr.

(Also I like 1000 Ships of the Underworld better. I think it fits more. But have 'em both.)

And now my commentary

I actually have a headcanon going that when Riku absolutely has to calm himself down, he'll count to ten. And if that doesn't work, he'll count to ten in Spanish. Then Japanese. Then German. (And if he's not calmed down by then, which is a surprise if he isn't, he'll probably do French.)

The only reason it hasn't come up before is because he's never needed to absolutely calm down before. Like, now he needs to calm down and focus because he's panicking about Namine and that's not helpful in a battle. He'll get hurt if he loses his focus.

It also came up a lot in the other universe, when he was trying not to let Larxene get to him. He'd tune her out by counting. (It only worked half the time.)

I'll try and bring it up more often...

Oh, whoops, I realize I am totally ahead of myself... that doesn't happen until halfway through the chapter. (I got confused because he was counting bullets.)

Also I really enjoyed the idea of him counting bullets. Idk why.

Heheh my notes:

"Ugh. I hate writing new stuff" (about here it stopped being rewrites)

"Maybe I'll just have Riku spew thoughts and I'll write the chapter like that. It's been effective lately."

Actually having characters spew thoughts, having them have a constant monologue going, a constant commentary on what's happening around them, is actually very effective and it helps with battle sequences. *nods*. It really does.

Here are my template thoughts for Riku: 

Stuff in plain text is Riku's thoughts

"stuff in quotation marks and plain text is what Riku says out loud"

"Stuff in quotation marks and italics are what other people are saying" 

and regular italics what they're doing, though this is rare

(Stuff in parentheses are actions/my notes/things that happen that Riku reacts to)

~things that start with a tilde are usually my comments ('cept occasionally those are made in parentheses. Depends on my mood.)

Now, Riku's internal monologue template:

Ugh, this is annoying. I’m getting so sick of blocking bullets. I could try and attack one of them.

(tries, but the Xigbar warps away)

(Does Riku get shot?)

Nope. Nevermind. I don’t feel like putting up the effort it would take to actually battle them. And there’s two of them, to top it off. I’d probably get hurt. I don’t want to deal with that right now.

“Oi! When are you two going away?”

“What’s it matter to you?”

“Just, y’know, rather not be blocking bullets for the rest of my life”

“oh, don’t worry, you won’t be”

“That’s comforting…”

~or

“Can’t be too much longer”/something like that

“Oh, so you’re stalling?”

~eh, maybe not, but that snippet crossed my mind. Anyway, continue!

Jeeze, what are they stalling for? This is ridiculous. What could they possibly be doing that requires keeping me distracted for so long?

(cue him thinking about Namine and the terror and bleh)

Oh lord, Namine.

No

NO.

NO.

Crap.

Crappity crap crap crap

They’re only really distracting me, after all. (lol, does he not notice what 7’s dealing with?) They probably went after Namine.

Shoot!

They probably—

No.

They can’t have gone after her. Axel was heading the computer. Xemnas went that way, too. They are probably just stalling so that Axel can do whatever it is he’s doing. And Xemnas is involved somehow…

(does he think something like “maybe Xemnas went after Namine” or something but I really don’t think it’s worth Xemnas’s time and maybe that crosses Riku’s mind, too. How much of Vexen has rubbed off on Riku, lol? Because what crossed my mind after that was “Xemnas is more likely to be here to kill us” or some crap like that. Vexen usually worries about that stuff.)

Xigbar is stalling for Xemnas. It makes perfect sense.

Stop worrying about Namine!

She’s fine

She’s not what they’re after.

They’re here for other reasons. They have to be here for other reasons.

Namine’s safe. She’s got to be safe.

Axel said that they wouldn’t go after her anymore, didn’t he? He wouldn’t have lied about that. Yeah, he betrayed us right away, but… oh I don’t know! He said the Organization had a change of plans. That’s probably all they’re here for.

Still…

(eyes narrow threatening mwahaha)

If Namine isn’t safe, I am going to kill Axel. Slowly. Painfully. Make it wish he’d never been born. And maybe while I’m at it, I’ll get Xigbar, too. And Xemnas. Why not? Make them all suffer…

(he’s growling. Riku, calm down!!)

~then I guess we just cut to Xigbar leaving…

“Something on your mind, Hotshot? You’re awfully quiet”

“yeah, I was expecting some snarky comments or a few taunts by now. Not that you’re… actually fighting or anything.”

“Rather not waste my energy, thanks. Perfectly content with blocking everything you throw at me.” (he’s smirking. Riku, you’re bi-polar) “Besides, I don’t see you two putting up much of an effort, either”

“Why waste the energy?”

“You think we could--”

“Nah, he’s not worth it.”

“Flattered…” I guess. Whatever. “How much longer are you going to keep this up?”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know. Actually, you know what I think.”

“That’s not relevant.”

“Nah, it’s not. Now let’s see…” he scans the room “we’re down two larxenes and I think a Marluxia. How many did we bring with us?”

“Eh, yeah, we’ve probably bought him enough time. Well…” he shoots another round at Riku. “Yeah. Now we’ve bought him enough.”

“Right. PACK UP YOUR BAGS AND HEAD HOME! WE’RE DONE HERE!”

~and Riku’s just like oh yay, I guess. Let’s go make sure Namine’s okay.

Y'know, Riku may not have mentioned it in this chapter, but he waffles about whether or not he's sick of fighting. I suppose, in this situation, anyone would be tired of fighting, it's just... Riku's Mr. Born-for-battle-and-has-trouble-going-more-than-two-days-without-killing/fighting-anything. So... it's funny.

(I guess he just thinks he doesn't want to fight, right now, but then he tries to go back to doing nothing and he really can't.)

Haha! this little snippet of my thoughts was sort of up above in the template dialogue/thoughts/thing but what I have written down here is better:

"Riku, those are some very strong threats…
NOW HE’S GROWLING! Alskdjflds CALM DOWN!!
Laskdfjlksdjf he’s scaring meee 

Asldkfjsdf AND NOW HE’S SMIRKING. You are bi-polar, Riku."

Yeah. Lol.

And then? wtf?

"29 suddenly sounds like freaking Gandalf in my head. asdlfksjflskfj"

(it makes sense, I'd just had my LotR marathon with my friend, but it's still random)

Mrr I think I have more notes on the original thing for this chapter, but...

Eh, all I remember is that I was originally going to have Riku head to the Computer Room right away, but it seemed awfully out of character for him to not check on Namine first, especially after that little panic attack he had.

yeah.

that's it.

That was fun.

R's computer

So I've established that R has a very clunky computer. And this is what this post is about. (Though I could make a post about the relationship between her and her computer lol xD. Maybe later :P)

Anyway, not sure what started it--actually, wait. I was looking through documents and reading snippets for when I plan on rewriting Nothing's Fair, and there was this thing where Roxas was talking to R, and R was at her computer. R ended up saying something like "my computer can only do so much" which, while not an insult to the computer.... you know how computers are. You say something like that and then they go "FORGET THIS I'M NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING! YOU DON'T APPRECIATE ME! I'M JUST GONNA STOP WORKING." And if you're like me (or magik it's a family thing?) you'll end up talking to the computer and stroking it and telling it that it's a very good computer and you're grateful it does what it does.

Lol.

(I did that with my old laptop a lot. And that laptop used to belong to magik. And I know she did it with that laptop too. Because that laptop. It just was kind of slow and clunky and would only run half the programs, had a lot of trouble with internet that wasn't Chrome, or internet in general--especially youtube. And. Yeah. There was a lot of babying that laptop.)

So, anyway, I was writing the scene, and R said that her computer could only do so much, and then she automatically starts stroking it and saying y'know "Not that I don't love you, you're a wonderful computer." And Roxas is just like "do I need to leave you two alone?"

Yeah. Idk.

And then that got me thinking that I wanted to hunt down pictures of what R's computer looks like, because I've got a very specific image of it in my head. Back when I was like, five years old, we had a a few really old computer monitors/computers in my house (my dad collects things and then doesn't get rid of them) and in my head it kind of looks like one of those.

I tried to find an image, but memories are usually very inaccurate things and I can only do so much

But I came up with this:

I think that's what the monitor I'm thinking of looks like, but...? I don't remember.

Now, of course, that might not be what I'm thinking of, plus the screen looks really small and that computer looks really old and I'm not sure how much it's capable of. I mean, all R does with her computer is write viruses and other programs, which I'm 99% positive any computer can do, but just in case:

If I had to chose a different image to represent R's computer, it'd be that one. The monitor is obnoxious and clunky, and while she might have a better looking mouse and keyboard, the CPU doesn't look much better, either.

I might go and find computer parts that are still sitting around my house and make "R's computer". I have a monitor that looks almost exactly like that, and I have an older looking CPU around somewhere, and then all I need is a keyboard and a mouse and I know I have those.

I could do this.

Anyway, I realize that the computer directly above is actually capable of quite a few things newer computers are capable of (I mean, for cripes sake, nearly every computer at my school looks like that thing! I know they're all capable of a lot of crap).

So for comparison, say every other computer in the World that Never Was/Castle Oblivion looks more like this:

Look how nice and streamlined that looks! Wow. Yeah there's a difference here. (Except, honestly, the computers are probably white and not black. This is Castle Oblivion we're talking about. What piece of furniture in that place isn't white? And in TWTNW most furniture is either white or grey sooooo)

And, yes, I'm aware of what the computers look like in actual KH games and maybe the computers around CO/TWTNW look more like those

But.

I think I've made my point.

R's computer is old and clunky and she's almost a miracle worker to make it do what it does.

A few things about my fic...

Since this is mainly me ranting about a few things that people seem to complain about concerning my fic. (It it's just kind of me ranting. It started off okay but then I got kind of upset and so yeah...)

okay some of these are complaints i've gotten, and others are just things that I assume people might complain about, and this is what I would tell them if anyone were to complain

The story has and always has focused on Riku

So don’t give me crap about not seeing Sora very frequently.

Yes I focus on him some but there are some points where I JUST CAN’T and would you like me to include Sora more and make this thing 300 chapters and have more 2-month delays? Or would you rather me just stick to what I know how to do on Riku’s side of the story? Hmm?

(also Riku’s major plot points take like three times as long for some reason I can’t really help that sometimes. I think part of it is I understand what I’m doing with Riku better than I do with Sora—and Sora doesn’t write himself. Riku writes himself. Sora doesn’t. Shad does but he’s not Sora. Or not Exactly xD)

And, yes, I like Sora's side of the story, and I'm sure there are readers who do too (I know you all love Shad and I love Shad and to be honest I like what's going on with Kairi). But. Riku was my main character since day one, and even if I try to split it between him and Sora... well, again it's harder for me to write for Sora than for Riku. Do you want this thing to take ages to finish?

I really don’t want to rehash every Disney World

For starters, my plot doesn't need it.

Second of all, do you expect me to write it? You crazy? I can’t handle Mickey, Donald and Goofy. You want me to handle entire worlds full of Disney stuff?? No. I don’t want to. And to be honest I don’t like fics that do that. I’ve read few, but it’s always been like “bleh” because you can really only pull Disney off so well sometimes—magik did okay I guess but I’m biased because she’s my sister

Besides, I have enough plot without Disney Worlds. So don’t ask me to do any. If I ever need Disney Worlds, it’s as a backdrop for all the other crap that’s going on. Kinda like Days (and maybe that’s why I like Days so much)

Also let’s look at it this way:

What characters do I have who are compatible with Disney Worlds? None. Riku doesn’t give a crap about them and doesn’t need to be anywhere near them. Sora’s more likely to destroy them right now. Shad can’t be seen by anybody. Kairi… maybe I could incorporate something with her I suppose it depends on what I feel like doing between THAT and endgame. I have holes but I have enough to fill it and I don’t need to add more just to cover Disney Worlds I don’t want to cover.

And actually that’s it about Disney Worlds. They aren’t required for plot. And actually that’s all that I should need. Forget characters being compatible. I don’t need them for my plot so don’t complain. 

(no one has yet I'll grant you that but just in case this is why I don't do a lot of Disney worlds)

As for Dead Inside being so long?

I’m sorry. It wasn’t intentional. You’re lucky I wasn’t trying to make it and FtP the same book xD

I’d split it in two again but I really don’t have a place to split it. Seriously we have one major plot point then we’re at THAT and after THAT we’ve basically got endgame. Or a hop, skip, and a jump ‘til endgame. Fluff before endgame. A few random scenes that are necessary for transition/I need/I want to cover.

But there’s no room to split it and I’m keeping it as short as possible without ruining the story

I’ll do my best to make book 5 not nearly as long? Yeah?

Concerning Namine’s meltdowns happening so frequently that people are getting bugged by it?

Good. Now you know how Namine feels.

(though tbh I think they need to happen more! They don't feel frequent at all! Maybe that's just me, and maybe they're more frequent when you read it as a whole, but seriously I actually should be glad I got this complaint. I needed to make Namine's meltdowns an issue, and even if I don't touch on them a lot lately, they clearly are something of an issue. Yay.)

Don’t like the things I ship?

Fine. Don’t make an argument about it. I don’t want to hear from you if you want to argue about a ship.

And as for me shipping Riku and Namine—for starters, why do you care about what I ship? Don’t like don’t read. Always been that simple.

Second of all. I don’t entirely have a choice. For Riku to not love Namine would be contradictory to his character—at least in this case with him being Repliku. My headcanon which I write by specifically states that he loved the Namine from the other universe. For him to not love Namine in this universe would be unlikely. Of course he loves them for different reasons and there’s that whole false memories deal and all this other stuff to deal with but him not loving Namine isn’t likely to happen.

And it would be pretty freaking cruel of me not to have her love him back.

And as for not shipping any pairings with Riku? Fine. I don’t either, honestly. Namiku rubbed off on me, but I don’t ship it vehemently. I ship RepliNami to no end and I am writing for Repliku not Riku so you really don’t have any argument here. Thanks.

Omg I just realized

Well, remembered, really.

But anyway.

I just realized that the Organization actually does know about the parallel universe. Magik's universe. They, uh, sort of have to. I mean, Riku came from said parallel universe. How can they not know about it? (Also I'm pretty sure that everyone in Castle Oblivion knew and I don't see how that news didn't reach Xemnas aha crap)

Uhm. 

Well. 

This is information that I’m not entirely comfortable with. Because now I have to explain why they haven’t used this knowledge. Uhum.

Well

Maybe they don’t know how to travel between universes. It’s not like it’s a common thing, or a commonly known thing, despite it being ridiculously easy. Aha. But, honestly, the only people who know how are Joseph, Axel (didn’t magik’s Axel tell him?), and Vexen. It’s not like the Organization could’ve possibly found out from Joseph or Vexen. Joseph wouldn’t blab about that, and Vexen hasn’t been near very many Organization members.

So… as long as Axel hasn’t told…

…

yeah Idk. But they really can’t not know. I mean. They have Riku walking around and being a thorn in their side. They sort of have to know where he came from.

(Though I suppose they could be like “well it’s not possible to travel between universes Riku only managed because of Edd”. Because, again, as long as Axel hasn’t told them that a star shard can get you between universes just fine, they wouldn’t know any different. Yeah. Feeling better.)

anyway this post is also on tumblr here should you happen to want to see it on tumblr

I'm not sure what scares me more...

The fact that I made Xehanort part of the Shadow Courts and it makes sense Or the fact the Angel seems to like him.

okay so rant about my own headcanon that relates to my notafic even though it doesn't even relate to my notafic it's just this idea I've had for a while

So, there's this thing called the Shadow Courts that I came up with a while back. The King (Shadow King is I think his official title) rules the Courts, and the Angel is his right hand woman. (Her title is the Angel of Darkness, if I'm not mistaken I honestly haven't used their titles I've been using their names lately)

And, the other day, I was going through and giving names (in Shadow Tongue) to a few darkness-prone people of KH. I started with Sora's Shadow from my fanfic because the idea of him being a part of the Shadow Courts has been around for a while

his name is Hydrx Sheto ni Sura

Hydrx means that he was born within the Dark Realm. "Sheto ni Sura" literally translates to Sora's Shadow (Sora's name is just given a more Shadw Tonge pronunciation)

Then Vanitas is... actually I'm not sure what his name is, all I know is a naHydrx -- meaning he is pure darkness

On the flip side, Ven is a naHyri; pure light

(Hyri means you're born in the Light Realm)

And then I moved onto Xehanort. It was a very quick decision to make him a Hyri who'd sworn fealty to the Shadow Courts sometime during his travels

While I was working on a name for him, I decided that I wanted his name to be something like "conqueror" -- I'm not sure if I'm still going with that term, but basically he's someone that the Courts send out into the Light Realm to cause trouble.

And while I was trying to decide how I was going to translate conqueror into Shadow tongue

I had this idea

What if "Xehanort" means conqueror in Shadow Tongue?

It was like, instant headcanon. Xehanort is no longer a Hyri who swore fealty to the Courts, he's a Hydrx who was born within the courts and was given the job of conqueror 

His name is Hydrx Zechhnor chi

Hydrx meaning he was born in the Dark Realm

Zechhnor means conqueror, and is pronounced a lot like Xehanort, even though it doesn't look like it. The chh is a very... throaty h sound. I'm not sure how to describe it, but if I were to try and type it out phonetically, it'd look something like hheh most likely.

Meaning Zechhnor is pronounced like Ze-heh-nor. Which is basically Xehanort without the t at the end. Basically.

Then I chose chi because that happens to be the Greek letter X as in X-blade as in the letter Xehanort is obsessed with. 

And it only makes sense that Zechhnor is a job more than it is a name (such as Sheto and Servi among other jobs), and though they might not have many Zechhnors running around at once, they'd still need to keep track of who was who. Shetos are given the ending phrase ni ___ and then the name of their hessha (Sora is a hessha, and I hope that's all the explanation you need), which is enough of a differentiation to tell Shetos apart. So, Zechhnors have a Greek letter at the end of their name.

And of course I gave Xehanort chi.

Now back to the Angel liking him...

I'm not quite sure what it is, but I know that the Angel does not get along with a lot of people. In fact, I wrote a scene between her and Shad and she chewed him out. Granted Shad was in trouble, but still

And then I just had this snippet in my head

Between Xehanort and the Angel

Xehanort: Ah... Hyri Anches, it is good to see you
Angel: (fondly) Yes, Hydrx Zechhnor chi, it has been too long

Fondly

FLIPPING FONDLY

I don't know what that means but apparently the Angel is fond of Xehanort. I just. Idkz

Anyway, let me know if you want to hear more about these headcanons. I'd love to talk about them. And I have interesting headcanons for Shad, along with a few about Sephiroth (at least, Sephiroth in my universe)

Dead Inside update... 4/13... which is more like 4/12 to me

since you know I don't go to bed 'til three so it's not tomorrow yet. In my head. 'cause I haven't slept.

Just wanted to let you know, I've been doing a lot of brainstorming on this current chapter, because it's been giving me a few issues (I hate battle sequences. So much.)

So, I kind of still have 7.5/13 chapters written... but--

Actually. It's probably more like 7.9/13

Because this scene is going to turn into two chapters, and I technically have the first chapter (ch8 of this sequence) done, but I'm going to say 7.9 until I decide where the chapter split is and it's official that I've got eight chapters written

But things are going well, for the most part. Keep getting distracted and haven't spent every single hour of my day writing.

But

Brainstorming at the moment. And as soon as I have a good idea of what I'm doing, I'll turn my brainstorm into a chapter

Yeah

As I complained about on tumblr, I'm having trouble with the battle because I know the thing ends in stalemate, it's just I don't want to write the continuous attacking and avoiding on both ends that would make it seem like a stalemate before someone comes to the conclusion "we're getting nowhere"

I mean, I'm going to do that. I just didn't want to do that as of last night, and now I'm brainstorming so I know what the characters are thinking as their fighting because it's actually easier to write (and probably more interesting to read) if I have a character monologuing probably not the right term to themselves as their fighting and giving a commentary that's the word! on what's going on as their fighting

So

And I'm doing it for all three characters in this battle so I have a better idea of who attacks when and all that

Because it was proving to be very difficult to write it when I was only in one character's head

Like

It was terrible

Sorry I can't give you names of characters but spoilers so.

anyway I hope there are actually people reading these updates. Again, I'd suggest following me on tumblr to get very frequent updates, or frequent-for-the-most-part, but I know I reblog a lot of crap in between updates...

hmm

oh!

http://rarmaster.tumblr.com/tagged/updates-for-my-fic

I tag all updates for my fic, so you can just find updates that way. By clicking on that link. (Updates are now linked to on my "useful tags" page on tumblr, so if you lose this link, you'll hopefully know where to find it again)

Also

http://rarmaster.tumblr.com/tagged/random-thoughts-that-cross-my-mind-while-writing

Maybe you should check out that tag once in a while. It's basically me liveblogging my thoughts every night as I write, so you can check this tag out and see if I've gotten any writing done. Aha.

I'm going to now put this post under the "important stuff" label, so that you can find these links again. Hopefully.

I know you probably don't want to follow me on tumblr due to it being more personal than fic-centered, and it's not good for updates alone

But you can still check out those links/tags/pages and you'll get a hold of my posts that are fic-update related. So.

I also have a tumblr for my fic

http://rarmastersftpverse.tumblr.com/

original URL, no?

So you can follow that. It's more like a roleplay blog, where my characters post things, but I could start putting updates there, too? Idk. But I think it'd be fun to check out! And feel free to ask a character something, even anonymously! It's all cool!

FEEELLLSSS

Warning: be prepared for long rant ahead because this is a long rant I'm so sorry

LIKE

OMG

I know all of you don't follow me on tumblr so it's going here because EVERY KINGDOM HEARTS FAN REALLY NEEDS TO READ THIS. LIKE IF YOU ARE PLAYING THE SERIES AND IGNORING THIS THERE IS A PROBLEM.

Okay?

Real quick, yes, I do have a Journal Dump planned it'll probably be up later today. If I can mess with the timing of it's post, I will see if I can make it posted "before" this post, because this post is a thousand times more important

Because

I was on tumblr

And I was drowning in Riku feels

Riku is a very beautiful character. And that's Real Thing I'm talking about. He is such a beautiful character it's not even funny.

But before I drown you in Riku feels, please go read this and this, which are two lovely analyses about Days and Xion and the relationship between Xion and Axel and aslkfj those are really good too you need to read them

Like seriously

people can get college degrees in studying Lord of the Rings. Not kidding you.

There needs to be a similar thing for studying Kingdom Hearts. Because, despite some of the questionable stuff that's been popping up lately, it has some really deep stuff like omg

Now

Here's the post about Riku

http://rarmaster.tumblr.com/post/47561873921/of-all-the-scenes-in-the-first-kingdom-hearts

I have to link to it because it's really freaking long

but you should read all of it

because it really just reasserts what a beautiful character Riku is. And how twisted the darkness can be. And alsdkfj it's just like I don't have words.

That post is an in depth discussion about Riku and freedom and how the darkness took over him and laskdjf like it is the best thing ever and so complex and it is just beautiful. I can't paraphrase it (not well and you should just read the whole darn thing despite how long it is)

Because that post describes everything about Riku in KH1. His desire for freedom his feelings towards Sora and how the darkness just kept twisting him and twisting him and how it turned the most simple want for freedom into something so terribly dark.

This post

Explains every reason

why, when pressured to tell you my favorite KH character, after waffling between Xion and Ven and maybe Roxas and then Repliku, I will finally tell you Riku.
Because, while Xion is a pretty in depth and beautiful character too (like previously linked to this post said and you need to read that one too I just need to focus on Riku atm), and Ven is among my favorite probably because of his light and it's dazzling and let's not forget just how unique the relationship between him and Vanitas is. Like the two of them are the best relationship in Kingdom Hearts ever, Ventus and Vanitas are. And, yes, Roxas is a pretty cool character and Days is one of my favorite games, and let's not forget how I feel about Repliku. I have many feels about him. And Namine too. I should start doing analyses on those two. Repliku and Namine. Because I know CoM very well, I think, and Namine's a beautiful character (every character in KH is oh my gosh) and she deserves something like this. I don't think I'd do Repliku because my feels for him get in the way very quickly

But Riku. Not only did he see the deepest darkness and fall into the darkest pit and still manage to drag himself back out, his sense of protection. And the sacrifices he makes, often for Sora and it's just-

Here let me direct you to some more Riku feels

this post which I've already directed you to and you REALLY NEED TO READ oh my gosh

There's this interesting look at Riku's character and the selfhate omg Riku was so angsty in KH1 this is a perfect companion to the other post

This post in which I rant about Sora and Riku's friendship

And here's a gifset about Riku and sacrifice which really hits me in the chest

And this post gives me serious feels.

Because Riku.

Riku.

And let me talk for a sec about him and sacrifice.

Like the post about Riku and freedom you should probably read it before you go on with this post said, at the end, Riku gives up the one thing he cherished, his freedom just so that Sora could keep going
.
and then the end of Days

that gifset which really hits me in the chest

a lot of people talk about just how much it hurts them/makes them proud/whatever to see Riku see giive in to the one thing he hated most. To give into Ansem. Just to save Sora.

Like this picture/wonderful cosplay on dA which I've probably already directed you to

Ah... this one

Mmhmm.

And I've gotten sidetracked gushing over Riku.

So I'm going to ground myself to my original point

and link you to this for a third time

And that post

And Riku's struggle through KH1

It is, again, really amazing and so thought out and deep and aslkfj it's wonderful.

And I say in my tags on this post

AND THIS IS WHY I FAIL AS A FANFIC WRITER, BECAUSE I DIDN'T EVEN TRY, I DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO FLIP THE COIN AND TRY THIS WITH SORA, I PULLED IT OFF WITH TEH MOST HALF BAKED ATTEMPT EVER,AND THIS IS WHY I'M ASHAMED TO EVEN LOOK AT FALLING TO PIECSE, THE THREE WORDS MAKE ME CRINGE AT TIMES BECAUSE, I LIKE HARDLY EVEN TRIED, I'M TRING TO MAKE IT UP IN DEAD INSIDE BUT I'VE WRITTEN MYSELF INTO A HOLE, I CAN'T PULL MYSELF OUT OF THIS ONE, IT'S A CORNER, I CAN ATTEMPT, ANOTHER HALF BAKED ATTEMPT, BUT SERIOUSLY IF I REWRITE FALLING TO PIECES, I DOUBT I WILL, IT WILL BE TO FIX THIS, BECAUSE I FAILED MISERABLY, MY SORA DOESN'T EVEN COMPARE TO RIKU, DOESN'T. EVEN. COMPARE.

Sorry it's in all caps. I was having serious feels at the time. Ahaha.

But after reading that post about Riku and gushing about it and drowning in feels

I realized that this is why I cringe--UHOH!! Most of my tags disappeared. I probably had too many or something but the part about rewriting Nothing's Fair is completely missing.

Oh well

It's just

Honestly comparing my Sora's story to canon Riku's-- you just can't. My attempt with Sora in Falling to Pieces is half-baked and terrible and really I'm ashamed to think too much about it sometimes. 

I mean, I know this series was always meant to focus on Riku--Repliku--but.... like that's not even an excuse. the Kingdom Heart's series focuses on Sora. Does that stop them from having an absolutely beautiful side story with Riku? NO IT DOESN'T.

Blegh

Like, really, I cringe sometimes, when you mention Falling to Pieces. Because I think, really, that was the worst out of my series so far.

the Truth Hurst -- despite it's terrible grammar and writing, had a decent and relatively solid plot

Nothing's Fair -- well, this is certainly on my list as a "half-baked attempt" but... with Nothing's Fair, it's like there's not even enough to complain about. 

Also it's higher on my list to rewrite than Falling to Pieces because a) I fix the worst of my continuity errors and b) it's short as heck. 

Falling to Pieces -- while it's plot was... alright... it's execution was terrible. I hardly touch on Sora. What little I do is hardly enough reason to warrant what's going on, and Riku's side of the story wasn't as great either. 

Like, I know why Sora fell into darkness. The problem is I really didn't think it out until after Falling to Pieces, and there's where my greatest flaw as a writer lies

I don't think things through

I slap words onto an idea, call it finished, and move on. Forget if it makes sense. Let's just make sure it has enough continuity to hang on, and anything that requires more than five minutes of thought we can throw out the window!

Don't argue with me.

I know I've gotten better since writing Dead Inside, but, like, just look at Nothing's Fair. Prime example of this. I had the skeleton--just the skeleton--of a plot and I wrote things down and called it finished despite it causing a million continuity errors among other things.

That's how I was writing Falling to Pieces, too. I managed to pull it off with the Truth Hurts. I managed, somehow, miraculously managed.

But, again, I hand you a half-baked attempt and label it Falling to Pieces and move on with my life.

Sorry

I got sidetracked again. Lemme go back to Sora and falling into darkness.

Because, even though I don't have it written and portrayed in absolutely beautiful way, I can at least offer you what I know happened in my head.

See, Sora was in love with fairytales. I can't say Disney fairytales because he obviously couldn't have access to those because of the nature of Kingdom Hearts. But he was in love with knights and princes and magic and things like that. 

And what kid, when they're little, doesn't go through a faze where they want to be magic or a knight/princess? I'm sure there are a few who didn't, but Sora certainly wasn't one of them.

He spent a lot of time. Ages 5-12 at least. Pretending that he was a knight because that was his thing. He was probably an awesome knight who could use magic, too (most medieval fairytales distinguish between the two; you're either a knight or a mage). 

Then by the time of the Truth Hurts, 14 years old, he's grown out of it. He's moved on to other things. Knights and magic will always have a special place in his heart but he's not gallivanting around pretending he's one of them 24/7.

Then Riku shows up.

And Riku has the magic Sora's been pretending he's had for his entire life. It's not a fairytale. It's painstakingly, amazingly, real.

But Riku has it.

(I've already sort of talked about this here but I'm trying to take it a bit deeper)

Riku has it.

The magic, the strength, the power Sora's wanted his entire life. He learns that it's real but, of course, he can't have it.

And so he goes out on a line--takes every risk he can--just to find it. Just to find the strength, the magic that Riku has. Because he wants to be better than Riku. And he definitely wants the magic.

And we can't forget the whole bit where he thinks Riku doesn't care about him. Which, knowing Riku--my Riku, as I've been referring to here he automatically becomes "Riku" within the confines of my fic, sorry--isn't hard to believe. He's Mr. drop-everything-and-make-sure-Namine's-okay.

And I forgot something else. Sorry. ASAS slipped my mind for a moment. (So may I direct you to ch9, 10, 11, and 17 10 and 17 especially)

Because not only did Riku have the magic that Sora's always wanted.

Sora was given a promise. Aqua showed up. And much like Terra told canon-Riku, Aqua told Sora--promised Sora--that there was magic out there. That he could have it. That he could go on adventures like he's always wanted.

And he waits.

He waits seven years.

And then Riku shows up. And cue the whole "Riku has what I've wanted--what I've been promised--and I don't have it yet and I just can't wait."

He can't wait.

And he isn't strong. He's not strong enough to protect Kairi. He's not strong enough for Riku (he thinks that Riku believes him to be too weak and bound to get in the way, as ch17 of ASAS says... or implies at least). 

So he starts figuring out how he can get stronger.

And he starts with the idea of other worlds.

He knows that Riku's been to other worlds, and he knows that Riku's strong, so he connects the two (much like canon-Riku does. Terra's strong, Terra's from another world. Xehanort left, and he's probably extremely strong now. the truth of that statement hurts so much). Other worlds=strength. 

That works. They agree to build a raft, and they get started building it. 

And then Riku decides that they should stop building the raft, for a bit. And it gets to Sora because Riku's making the decisions, and the decisions were made without his input. And it probably ticks him off that Kairi doesn't tell him--because he and Kairi have been growing distant lately and that's probably really bugging the crap out of him--and then it really bugs him because Riku does tell him, but Riku decides to tell him later. To put it off. Like it isn't important.

And to Sora it's the most important thing in the worlds.

Other worlds=strength.

He can't go to other worlds. He can't get strong. Riku doesn't care. Riku's never cared.

Then Ansem shows up. 

(Sorry never calling him Xehanort's Heartless he's Ansem. You've got to be kidding me. He was Ansem first, he will always be Ansem, and I can't tell you how happy it makes me that Riku still calls him Ansem in KH3D.)

And Ansem tells him to find the door to Destiny Islands. Because plunging the world into darkness is a guarantee to get to other worlds. My rocks get shaky here and I really can't go on because again I had so little in Falling to Pieces and it really does suck in comparison to canon-Riku's story in KH1 (and KH1 alone.)

I mean, I'm sure Ansem did his typical Xehanort thing and was like "I need a body. I need a vessel. Sora seems like a good choice."

And I'm sure that he took some time considering Riku. But the thing about Riku and his darkness is that it's been, and was always intended to be, exactly the same. It doesn't change. It can't be warped. It can't be channeled. It can't be tempted. 

(Yes I realize I change that come Dead Inside blegh I know that's lousy writing on my part, but this is what Riku's darkness was like in Falling to Pieces. Shad screws with it in Dead Inside and that's been my reason for it changing. I don't think Ansem would've tried. Especially not when going after Sora was easier.)

So Ansem moves to Sora. Because Sora's wanting other worlds, wanting strength. Just like, as that wonderful post about Riku said, Xehanort was searching for as a child. And maybe that makes Sora his first choice in this case. Because he recognizes the same things in Sora that he knew he used to have. It's not like Riku had any of those things (again referring to my canon just making sure you follow). Riku doesn't care much about other worlds. He's as strong as he thinks he needs to be. He's in almost every way shape and form your worst choice if you were Ansem.

So Ansem goes after Sora. And he probably hands him over to Maleficent, like people theorize he did in KH canon with canon-Riku. He puts Sora in a position where his darkness can be fed. And we go from there.

And I'm running dry. 

I mean I could keep going through Falling to Pieces but this post is getting long and I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. Let me know if you want to see more. (I could probably do something like this for Kairi, too, and could most definitely do something for Riku, but I'd rather cover Dead Inside for Riku because that's more interesting.)

Let me know, okay? 

Drop me a comment below or send me a message. Feel free to drop something in my askbox on tumblr! It's always open. You can use it just to say hi. You can use it to give me your answer on this question. It's cool. Just because it's labeled an "askbox" doesn't mean you have to send me a question.