So I was gonna make a ShadKai playlist specifically for this chapter (ch173)

but then I decided

nooooooooooooooo

Shaditude from rarmaster on 8tracks Radio.

I mentioned this playlist in the ch173 tag. Here's the post. This mix is a liiiiiitle old but I uploaded it to 8tracks because everyone has a thing with that so

And now I'm sharing it? Tho tbh this isn't exactly Shad's attitude right now. This playlist is more relevant to the first 100 chapters of the fic. I have another mix for him that's relevant to now, but I want to post that with a different chapter??

I also posted a thing to ASAS, which you mayyyybe wanna read because it ties into this chapter. And once you read that you should listen to this song for maximum feels

and then....

yeah that's it

Onto the chapter!

read it!

tumblr notes!

Ahhhh initially I was gonna have Riku say "damn" in response to Aerith not having anything to stop memories, and then she smacked him, and it was really great

but then my beta pointed out that Aerith should prooobabbbllyyyy be curious as to why he'd even want such a thing and in the end it was just easier to cut him swearing. 

(Also it read like she smacked his bad shoulder which she technically didn't but whatever. Hence why it was easier to cut it)

AND THEN OH MY GOSH SHAD

Ahhhh I initially wrote the scene while on a book-high (you know like you get after just finishing a good book) and the book had a lot of similar themes, hence... well.... everything.

(my tumblr actually has a tag just for this scene--tho you'll also see all the posts in the ch173 tag)

Yeah uhm like the tumblr notes say it was initially about 1000x worse? He was a lot more... graphic. In describing exactly wanted to do.

He actually has a habit of doing that--he did again to me later in another thing I just wrote. Unfortunately not sure what chapter it'll be but. But yeah Shad has a habit of describing his violent desires in great detail and it's a little disturbing

And then, of course, he was describing other things in great detail. Ahum.

But yeah I wrote the scene because of a book-high and I had inspiration for Shad wanting to kill Kairi because impulses and him being the exact opposite of tame right now and stuff. And then it sort of. Degraded. Into. *cough*

Yeah.

And it was a lot lot lot worse in the initial draft. I toned it all down for ya'll because I'm nice. And I wouldn't have been comfortable putting such a thing in my writing anyway.

(I was gonna say other things but at that point I'm basically restating everything I said on tumblr soooooo)

AND THEN BACK TO RIKU'S SIDE

Ahh Yuffie's such a sweetie actually. She's sorta trying to make up for yesterday (when he got hit with lightning) because she feels super awful

UNFORTUNATELY I HAD TO CUT THE THING WITH HER YELLING AT CID--I was going to cut out this little thing in general, with the sandwich, but then I had room and I needed to fill it and I figured I might as well?? So I did.

Hang on tho I'mma post the original snippet

Yuffie: You want a grilled cheese sandwich, Riku?

Riku: Uhm… no, you don’t have to make me one…

Yuffie: Too bad! I already buttered the bread! What do you want on it?

Riku: I- I don’t know. Whatever.

Yuffie: Okay! (she’s way too thrilled, having decided to just put everything on it)

(about two minutes later)

Yuffie: Hey Cid, can I use some of your spicy meat? Too late it’s already on the sandwich.

yeah

The whoooollle thing here ties in with a headcanon I have going that Riku really loves foods with a lot of flavor, so of course he ends up liking the sandwich because it's not just bland cheese and ham it's special cheese and pastrami and tbh pastrami is something of an acquired taste just saying

Also I have I mentioned recently that Cid becomes increasingly like my father with every chapter?

Because he does.

And uhhhhh that's it