and it's, wayyyyyyyyy too long to leave on tumblr so I thought I'd post it over here instead!!!
It's still formatted like a tumblr post, and I cant change that,
BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING IT!!!!!!!
1) I’LL START WITH RIKU
REPLIKU BEING LOVED IS SO IMPORTANT ME BECAUSE SAD KIDS BEING LOVED IS IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his relationship with the hb gang (and specifically aerith) is so good and even though you only see it for the shining jewel in ATR ((i mean, it isn’t totally a thing before ATR rip)) it’s just. it’s very good. they are one good family and it’s so important to me that aerith adopted him??? i care so much
it’s also, like i’ve said, been a real Great Expereicne to watch riku grow up over these years!!!! and watch him go from a place of pain and feeling like he’s isolated from everything to having a family!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! it means so much to me
2) riku’s,,,, past,,,,,
i didn’t touch this much before halfway thru dead inside because i didn’t fully Consider it before then, and well i won’t talk about how my writing for it starts out kinda bad ((it does get progressively better tho but))
i mean it’s just importnat to me that he came from!!! such a shitty place!!!!!! like i did not personally come from a shitty place myself so don’t think it means a lot to me in that way, i just. it’s a very core part of his character that i love that he was, i mean. larxene was abusive as heck??????? and getting to kind of, explore that in ftpverse and help him heal ((even if i’m not writing it the best i can!!!)) means a lot to me..... and it’s part of the reasons why i cry constantly over him being adopted into the hb fam lol
i just am So Weak for aerith in particular looking at broken kids and going “oh my god did no one teach you you mattered i need to fix this Literally Immediately”
3) SINCE I’M TALKING ABOUT HB FAM, WELL, HB FAM
AERITH/LEON IN PARTICULAR WHICH IS ONLY A THING I STARTED TOUCHING SINCE LIKE!!! THIS PAST YEAR!!!! SINCE ONLY THE MOST RECENT ATR CHAPTERS ((BUT I’M GOING BACK TO EDIT DEAD INSIDE TO ADDRESS THIS!!!!! I’M EXCITE FOR THAT))
anyway the hb fam means so much to me and ftpverse’s hb fam portrayal is just All Of My Headcanons For Them, and i will never write them a different way but
aerith and leon are adopted siblings since birth basically, and it means a lot to me that they were raised together ((IN PART BECAUSE SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS MEAN A LOT TO ME, IN PART BECAUSE THEY’ER JUST REALLY GOOD))
and it’s just!!!! it’s good dynamics all around!!!!!! aerith and leon are such good siblings and also they both care so much about riku which!!!! IT MEANS A LOT TO ME!!!!!!
and there’s so much about aerith and leon’s past that isn’t on paper, (or at least won’t show up in the main story) and like???? ,may never show up in the main story???????? but it matters so much to me and i love it
AND THEN THERE’S YUFFIE!!!! i love my yuffie so much
like my yuffie is, like, i doubt she resembles ff7 yuffie (or even kh yuffie) at all but shitty teen yuffie who grew up on the streets before beign adopted into this family matters So Much To Me. this yuffie who is bad at manners and social skills and also bad at showing she cares about people but tries so hard, she matters so so so much to me. she matters so much to me.
and cid matters to me too as the “weird uncle who’s there” but admittedly i have less thoughts for cid i’m sorry cid i try. i really do try. but.
ANYWAY I LOVE MY HB FAM SO MUCH!!!!!! i daydream about writing a bunch of fic for them and i wish i could post it in non-ftpverse context but ftpverse has a very specific timing thing (rg falls three years before “kh1″, not ten years) that makes it hard to translate,,,,, so, rip
also i physically don’t have the time but
MAYBE ONE DAY
4) i’ll stick with ff characters for a bit and RINOA
listen i love how i’ve fit rinoa into ftpverse because ftpverse canon is “ff8 was a thing that happened but aerith and zack tagged along” and the rinoa/leon/aerith/zack dynamic is so good???????? like i mean i’ll only get to explore rinoa/leon/aerith unless i write scenes for ff8 because, i mean,,,,, zack’s not around anymore
but it’s still!!!! RINOA’S SO GOOD!!!
we haven’t even seen her in ftpverse yet but she’s gonna start playing a big part in ATR soon and she is. so good.
i’m so fond of her and her relationship to aerith and leon AS WELL AS THE THINGS SHE’LL START DOING IN ATR WHEN SHE SHOWS UP. WE’RE ALMOST THERE. PART 4. SOON.
also i’m so fond of the running joke of “she’s needed to do sorceress training for 7 years but keeps avoidign it” it’s very good
5) vexen and riku????
this means a lot to me mainly in the fact they Are What They Are. it’s hasn’t been fully revealed in ATR yet but we’re getting there soon!! it just matters to me that they are, well, what they are
6) i’ll change subject now SORA
THERE’S A LOT OF SORA THINGS I LIKE, like sora is my son as much as the entire ftpcast is my children, tho i’m less ready to gush about sora things that aren’t also, um, about shad, lmao. lmaO.
but!!!! there are a lot of good sora things and i mean that. hes’ come a long way and i’m excited for him to be just, passionately himself, and his arc is pretty good. he’s important
OH I GUESS ONE OF MY FAVE THINGS ABOUT HIM IS ACTUALLY????? i love his relationship to maleficent so much, especially in dead inside context because it’s not i trust her it’s literally i’m being held captive and it’s kind of!!! i like it. i’m fond of it. i’m fond of thinkign about him and pete weirdly bonding and i’m fond of thinking about, well, admittedly, how he’s kind of Not Okay after that stint
it’s always fun to think about characters bieng Not Okay,
i’m just. i love where he is in ATR now, and none of it is necessarily good but it’s still a lot of fun to explore and means a lot to me. it means a lot to me, where he is right now, and where he’s going.
7) shad
SHA’DS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like there is so much good stuff about how development is just, he goes from Shitty Asshole to literally so broken inside, help, and it’s just. a lot about him is so good because he goes from bieng so confident of who he is and what he wants and then one little thing changes, and by one little thing i mean one fucking big thing
maleficent kidnaps sora and shad just??? falls apart
because the one thing that defined his life is gone and now he has to confront the fact that he’s nothing without sora, and that he relied on sora as much as he did, and watching him, well. watching his arc develop through dead inside is really fun because watching him go from what he is in part 1 to losing everything in part 2 and then dealing with that is reaaaaaaaaal good. i can’t say he “matures” or “grows”, exactly, because he hasn’t finished yet so it’s kind of, hard, and while i guess these changes in him are for the better it’s still hard to peg
but it’s fun watching him develop and i’m so glad he exists???
i’m so glad he developed from “weird vaguely vanitas inspired guy meant only to drag sora into darkness” into “literally the favorite of everyone, with potentially the most compelling story of the entire main cast”
BECAUSE HE’S!!!!! everyone loves him and everyone feels for him and it’s kind of a tooting my own horn proud and also jsut I ABOSLTUELY LOVE HIM TOO, HES’ SO GOOD, SHAD IS SO GOOD
8) ssssssoshad!!!
soshad is also good because its’ fun watching shad develop a crush on sora and how like ridiculously bad he has it for sora and like
they’re still working things out in ATR, and its’ going to be a while before they work things out enough to start actually dating
but i love thinking about htem post-ATR
and i love them
they’re so good
soshad is so good and it means so much to me
like i’m not even sure i can say “i just love this narrative” because it’s nto that i love them because of their narrative??? i love their narrative because, it’s them, honestly.
it’s just
it’s been a Ride to watch thsi ship develop from being a joke into being the most canon ship in the entire series that i’m litearlly the most invested in
and just..... the important thing about sora re: this is sora is a very empathetic and forgiving character, and so it’s been!!! it’s been fun working him down the road of giving shad a chance, and him learning to be friends with shad (THANKS BODYSHARING) and then also falling love in return
i mean, here’s a spoiler: the nature of their dynamic on sora’s end is less oh holy shit i love you too, i guess??? sudden realization. sora just. he knows what shad feels for him and eventually he gets to a point where he’s like you know what yeah, i’ll give you a shot
idk i’m babbling
LET’S MOVE ON
9) THAT ONE SCENE WITH MALEFICENT AND SHAD
I THINK IT’S CHAPTER 184 OF DEAD INSIDE AND I’M SINGLING IT OUT SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HOLY SHIT IT’S SUCH A GOOD MOMENT
maleficent berating shad is such such SUCH a good moment
i love it
10) BITTER KAIRI
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM BITTER KAIRI IS SO GOOD????
kairi bieng relentlessly bitter and angry in part 1 of dead inside because she’s so mad she got left behind is such a treat, and it’s really good
and honestly all of kairi’s character being???? she holds grudges???? she’s not forgiving at all????? i love her. i love her so much like this bleeds into all other kairi’s i write but it has it’s roots in ftp kairi
she gets bitter easily she doesn’t like listening to people she’s kind of just, an angry person,
i mean she’s more than that
she’s not just angry, she’s care free and she’s passionate too, she likes to dance she likes to sing she of course loves being happy because who doesn’t but like
the fact that it’s a core part of her character
to be angry
and to hold grudges
i love it so much
i love ftp kairi so much she’s so VERY good
and i love how she’s not afraid to call anyone out on their shit, i love how confrontational she is, i love. her. she’s so good.
11) SHADKAI
like, shadkai in the “shad has a bad crush on kairi” context Sucks
but shadkai friendship that takes a nasty turn????? oh man that is so good, my friend
i love them being weird friends trying to fill a hole in their lives thruout dead inside
and i love shad betraying her
and i love kairi being hella mad at him for it
it’s so fun
12) that bit where sora ends up kidnapped bc everyone fucks up simultaneously
i just looooove this bit too???? dead inside chapter.... 124? 123. it’s around there. i think it’s closer on the 123 end.
still
it’s good
i just love how
sora fucks up because he hesitates too long to talk to kairi because he’s scared of facing her
kairi fucks up because she’s inches away from sora but she’s scared of seeing him too, just a little bit, so she doesn’t approach him, she lets him slip away
shad fucks up because he went “FUCK SORA’S NOT HERE I GIVE UP I’M LEAVING” wehn sora was definitely there and if he’d stuck around and just, checked, just tried a little bit, he would have found sora
but they all fucked up
and so sora gets kidnapped
13) NAMINE’S ATR PLOTLINE IS GOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
like ok everything about dead inside’s endgame is very good and her getting rewritten is good and it’s, i mean, it’s just all around good
but i like dealing with her coping with it, too
and i’m very excited for it
BUT I CAN’T GO ON FOR 2000 YEARS BECAUSE WE HAVENT’ STARTED THIS PLOTLINE YET (IN FULL) SO HELL
but i just like
i mean i did it origianlly because i was like “well this is better than the other thing i had planned and it doesn’t HURT” and even if rewritten namine didn’t give me much development on riku’s end or anything ~like that~
it created an interesting plot for her in ATR
where she’s struggling to be comfortable in her own skin again, because once you have someone go into your head and rearrange literally everything about how you think
it’s hard to
recover
it’s hard
14) NAMIKAI!!!!!!!!!!!!11
I LOVE FTPVERSE NAMIKAI SO MUCH HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. thye are so good. i love them dancing together i love them being really close friends and understanding each other and i love them holding each other thru shitty times and i love them laughing together and i love
namine being most comfortable around kairi, sometimes more than she is comfortable around riku
i love namine leaning on kairi’s shoulder, and i love namine being a hella bad enabler
i love kairi being so passionate about her friendship with namine, i love kairi looking out for namine in any way she can
i love kairi standing at the end of dead inside in front of a rewritten namine and refusing to give up hope, because she’s my friend, and i’m not going to fucking lose her
i love
ftp namikai
so much
15) NOTHING’S FAIR???
the rewrite is very good and probably my best work??? i say that a lot but like, i guess i should clarify my best novel-length work, tho it inches more towards novella zone
still the pacing in it is kind of stellar and it makes me very happy
16) R (and 7)
we don’t see R a lot and we will never see her full potential
but i love her so so so so SO much,
she’s just. she’s very good and she’s easily my fave Larxene replica and i love just. i mean i love everything about her i love her beign a smart ass and knowing hte replica program better than any vexen replica created ((and perhaps even better than the program’s creator himself???))
and i love her and her relationship to 7
i love them being weird frenemies and also so much more
i’m so glad R exists
she’s only in five chapters
but she fucking rules
17) all the replicas and their unique personalities????
this means al ot to me too like i. i actually had a friend tell me once i totally shattered their conception of replicas just bieng carbon copies because of how passionate i was about this being otherwise in ftpverse
because you aren’t shaped by how you look, and you aren’t fully shaped by the way you’re programmed to think, or by the person you’re supposed to imitiate
you’re shaped by your memories
and the people you interact with
and kh is so adamant about that with sora and roxas and ven and xion and vanitas ((and repliku and riku, and kairi and namine))
and every replica in ftpverse is distinct
29 is the chillest vexen ever, he’s so laid back and it’s because he’s like, i mean, he’s literally the Cool Dad, and he’s a loving parent and he’s defined by being joseph’s caretaker and he’s so good at being joseph’s caretaker because he just? he is so chill. he’s not analytical cold vexen he’s like, fun????? and chill it’s important he’s chill
7 is the gentlest ever, and that comes from being a medic, and he’s so passionate about replicas being given a chance to live?? and them being treated just like real people??? i think he’s a little prideful in his work but he’s also just. he’s a good man.
37 SURE IS, UH. HE’S A. BOY. here we get our (like, single) evil vexen and he’s???? freaking??????? mmmmmm like he’s evil and he’s a lil cruel but actually a lot of that comes from teh fact he’s dating a larxene replica and boy that is a thing i have to live with in my head every day but anyway 37 is evil but he’s also distinct because he doesn’t like giving replicas second chances, he doesn’t like giving them a chance if they’re “defective”, and also i won’t. i won’t get into him and L but boy it Sure Is A Thing
AND LIKE!!!! L IS A DIFFERENTE LARXENE THAN Q IS AND DEFINITELY DIFFERENT THAN R IS AND IT’S.... IT’S GOOD!!!! I JUST DONT’ WANNA KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS
((they’re also all very distinct from the real larxene????? so that’s also, fun))
18) XIGBAR’S FUCKING CLONE
XIGBAR’S CLONE SI SO GOOD I LOVE HIM TOO
HE’S LIKE, HE’S LARGELY, HIS EXISTENCE IS LARGELY JUST A FUN JOKE, A FUN GAME
“WHICH XIGBAR IS THAT???? WE LITERALLY DON’T FUCKING KNOW”
AND I LOVE IT
19) speaking of Q again like, DIch128,,,,
or is it 127???? anyway the one where she shows up and just. everything about. her showing up and being like “yeah i’m totally your backup my dude except no i’m not HERE’S YOUR PLAN FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR hey do you think i said that loud enough? maybe i should repeat myself”
she’s good too
20) I’LL TALK ABOUT EVEN TOO
ftpverse Even is so, so good
he’s so good
he cares so passionately and like, legitimately about his replicas that he’s created as people with the right to live their own lives, and he like goes out of his way to protect them from xehanort/xemnas’s schemes
and he’s chill???
he’s so laid back ((especially compared to the highstrugn vexen which if you aren’t a ftpverse reader and slogged thru all this there are two vexens that aren’t replicas. there’s vexen which is from the alternate universe ftp riku is from (and consequently riku’s creator) and then tehre’s even which is the ftp resident and creator of ftp’s very successful replica program))
AND I LOVE EVEN SO MUCH
AND I LOVE HOW MUCH HE CARES ABOUT HIS REPLCIAS
IT’S IMPORTANT TO ME
21) XEHANORT!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO THE BEST PARTS OF XEHANORT YET BUT HOLY SHIT HE’S SO GOOD
HE’S GOING TO BE SO GOOD
HE’S SUCH A HAM AND HE’S A!!!!!!!!! he’s just. i love the voice i’ve carved out for him so much and i hope you love him too when i introduce him. it’s going to be very soon. like ATRch63 soon. Very Very VERY Soon
22) AQUA AND VEN!!!!!!!!
I HAVE BEEN GOING ON FOR LIKE FIVE MILLION YEARS AND I NEED TO, STOP, BUT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT FTP AQUA AND VEN
i love them a lot
like i always feel bad because tehre’s not enough room to include them more
but i love them, i super do
i love exploring a ven who’s totally lost his vanitas, who has to live without him. i love writing for a ven who’s like. i love ftp ven??? i love him being empty and in a lil bit of Depression Hell because he’s having to function with literally only half his heart, and it’s been patched, but it’s still hard. it’s so hard.
and i love writing him desperately clinging to this idea that sora has vanitas in him, even if he’s wrong, even if he knows he’s wrong, i love him clinging to that
AND I LOVE AQUA!!!!!!
I ALWAYS LOVE AQUA AND FTP AQUA IS!!!!! PROBABLY NOT TERRIBLY DIFFERENT THAN ANY OTHER AQUA I’LL WRITE!!!!!!!
but i love her a lot and to this day one of my favorite things i’ve written is probably her escaping from the dark realm, because it was fun exploring her and minnie, and her and mickey, and fun exploring ven coming back
and i like
i like writing for her, too, still struggling to cope with Living after coming out of the dark realm
and this is going to be any aqua i write, tbh
but it still means a lot to me
23) I’LL WRAP IT UP HERE---APRIL FOOL’S CHAPTER
THERE’S SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH MORE TO COVER BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’LL END IT HERE AT THE APRIL FOOLS CHAPTER I WROTE IN, UH, WAS IT 2014?????? NO IT WAS 2015, I THOUGHT SO
it’s so good
i love it
and i love ftpverse
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