I'm doing it.
I'm not quite finished but I'm very very close to being finished. Honestly, though, I probably won't say what it is until Dead Inside is finished. Big reveal or something?? Idk.
Have a Fire Emblem Awakening mix!! I really loved Lucina?? A lot. And this mix is very fitting for her, I think. It's one of my fave mixes recently, regardless.
Though if you want a legit music suggestion for this chapter, I have to suggest CHVRCHES every time, hands down.
So... Chapter time!
read ch242
ch242 tag
So I wrote this
(well the beginning of it) in a notebook
on like physical paper because our
power was in danger of going out and since I was at the beginning of the
chapter and didn’t need any actual refs I figured I might as well
The note in my
margin was:
“37 wanted to come in ‘n save Namine but. No. no 37 can’t do that. Idc
if he wants revenge. Too far. Too much. Damn happy ending”
Which is probably
obvious but the last three sentences made me laugh. it was fairly coherent
until that point I mean I understand it but. It still made me laugh
(it’s referencing
things I’ve mentioned off and on about me not quit until I'd finished because
“Riku wants his damn happy ending” and)
Also I was
thinking about how 37 (and L) had been in an ability proof room and of course
you can corridor INTO them just not out of them and then Xigbar (‘s clone??)
saved them and. stuff. That’s how the thought crossed my mind of 37 saving
Namine
I know reinforced glass is a thing but. Eh.
I could feel the Larxene seeping into Namine’s
voice as I was writing it was disgusting
She like
legitimately doesn’t even sound like Namine it sounded like I was writing for Larxene and. I wanted to strangle
her. So bad.
“Kindness usually
meant you wanted something” hello Larxene logic
“but only because
she was so exhausted” mother 3 fans weep in the distance
This was a thing I had to cut unfortunately :((
AND THEN!! KAIRI!!! DOESN’T EVEN SAY IT’S ALRIGHT SHE JUST HUGS NAMINE
“It’s good to have you back”
And then
And then my brainstorm ended on that
break
break
“scene”
And the finality of it ohhhh my gosh I’m. I need to lie down.
IIII LOVED THE
FINALITY OF THE “IT’S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK” BUT THEN THIS WAS A GOOD 500 WORDS
SHORT (IF NOT 700) AND MAGIK WAS LIKE. I WANNA BE SURE IT’S NAMINE. I WANNA BE
SURE.
So.
THE POUNDING IS
SO MESSED UP IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT THIS IS JUST SO MESSED UP IT’S MESSED UP
THEY DIDN’T WANT
THEM TO RETURN TO NORMAL TO BREAK OUT OF THE PROGRAMMING SO ONE OF THE
FAILSAFES THEY INSTALL IS ONE THAT INDUCES PAIN THAT BLURS ALL COMPREHENSION
UNTIL YOU GIVE INTO THE DESIRE THEY’VE PROGRAMMED INTO YOU WHICH YOU DN’T WANT
TO FEEL BUT UNTIL YOU DO YOU CAN’T THINK STRAIGHT OTHERWISE HOW MESSED UP IS
THAT
Like I’d imagined
Roxas’s brain had just blurred from trying to process memories he shouldn’t
have and still struggling to work against the killing-riku failsafe but y’know
imagine one of the reasons he stops in the Demyx battle is because it starts
pounding
Thankfully Kairi
saying “you don’t want to kill riku” gets him to think “yes I do” and
comprehension comes back to him
I honestly
imagine that if you let it go on long enough (five or so minutes) it would
consume you entirely and you’d just reflex do whatever it is you’re supposed to
do—in this case kill Riku
If you didn’t
ward it off soon enough it would blur your thoughts so you wouldn’t resist the
protocols telling you to chop Riku’s head off
Which may be its
main intention it just has a loophole where thinking about killing/hurting him
is enough
(though honestly
it works for Namine because she very aggressively DOESN’T want to think that so
the pounding just gets worse—Roxas is another issue because he’s an ass and has
no qualms about punching Riku in the jaw. Namine can’t stand the thought of
having to hurt Riku just to get herself to stop wanting to kill him it scares her. it doesn't faze Roxas as much.)
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