"I don't like being thrown across rooms..." (ch150)

OKAY!

This blog is coming a bit later than the chapter, because I didn't have it pre-prepared and I had to get the chapter up to fanfic real quick in case it freaked out again  (wouldn't let me on an hour ago)

Music suggestions: "Nemesis" by Two Steps from Hell and "Invincible" by Two Steps from Hell, both under my #ch150 tag on tumblr

NOTE: most of the notes for this chapter are under the #ch149 tag because I wrote this as one chapter but had to split it into two and a lot of my notes went under ch149 before I decided/realized I needed to split it.

~chapter time!
(convenient link)

(also note: some things in this blog may be relevant to the previous chapter. whoops MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO BACK AND READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER AND THEN THIS CHAPTER AND THEN READ BOTH BLOGS? convenient link to other blog)

*while reading through the previous chapter again* look at him! Look at him building up his ego!! “I’ll bet Xemnas’ll be a pushover. No one else in this universe has been stronger than me yet.”

(like this it looks like it goes with the previous chapter)

Hmm how long does a Dark Aura take? *checks* Okay. About 9 seconds. How much can you think in 9 seconds? *tries it out with Riku’s prewritten thought process here* Aha! Believable. Most certainly believable. (Not entirely likely, unless he’s thinking super-fast or something, but it’s believable. And besides actually it was a really close call so he’d have to be thinking super-slow for it not to work tbh)

Just gonna copy/paste some of my commentary/thoughts/whatever:

This is just not Riku’s fight

Axel don’t laugh at him you’re making things worse

(but he’s laughing in my head. That little “heheh” that I think he does I remember it idk it’s in my head. It’s going to kill me until I remember just where he laughs like that. asldkjf)

Axel are you even trying? You aren’t going easy on Riku are you? Like. Like. That makes things worse!! If Riku found out you weren’t even trying sldkfj

RENO DOES IT! IT’S RENO WHO LAUGHS LIKE I’M THINKING LIKE IT’S RENOO

I feel so much better now

and more copy/pasting

Riku!

I know you’re in a bad mood, but no swearing

…

Maybe I’ll just start having him say “frik” more often…

(actually he wanted to say “damn” but I’m really trying to limit swearing in general to Shad)

No Riku you aren’t going to talk me into it!

(and no, Colin, he can’t say dachst)

Mrrr I should have Axel say typical battle quotes but—ugh it’s so hard to keep everyone else in a good mood when Riku’s being so angsty I just tune them out like he does it’s awful

Nvm all Axel’s typical battle quotes make him sound like a jerk in this situation

I ended up using one. It’s technically what he says when throwing chakrams but the rest of them really sounded cheesy or he sounded like a jerk!

(admittedly he still sounds like a jerk whoops)

Nope these attacks aren’t consistent I give up

Yes Amaryllis is in this scene I’m really sorry I’m ignoring him but Riku’s just tuned everyone else out. He’s only paying attention to Axel when it concerns him/he’s attacking Axel/Axel’s about to attack him.

Oh yes this goes with the previous chapter

Ugh Shad stop influencing Riku aslkjf

Just so we’re clear, it’s just the extra darkness that’s in his data that’s not working. If he were to decide to use dark aura/dark firaga/dark break, it would’ve worked just fine because that’s in his freaking programming it can’t stop working

You’re like Haseo, Riku! Trying to summon Skeith!! “come on. come on. come on! come on come on come on. COMME OONNN” or at least I think Haseo shouted like that I wouldn’t be surprised if he had because it’s Haseo. Skeeeeeeiiitth!!!

Oh yes he does! I remember now! In regular gameplay he screams it at least three times. Oh wait was it “it’s here” he screams? AGh.

I had to go check it was bugging me. But it looks like he only screams “come on” the first time asdlfkj it’s not like I’m good at remembering this I never played the game (I honestly don’t think I would’ve enjoyed it)

Riku this is a bad idea stop it. Do you even hear yourself? “frustration feeds darkness/darkness is power.”

RRriiikuuuu

It’s not a good thing he understands that negative emotions trigger darkness. Not a good thing.

It’s not dark shield. It’s more like just throwing up darkness to make a shield. It’s what Colin does all the time he just throws up a wall of darkness and lets that absorb the brunt of the blow. It’s as about effective as a shield without actually being a shield aha. (Life would be so much easier if Riku knew dark shield. But he does know that thingy that he does from floor 8 idk what that is maybe that’s what he’s doing right here?)

I know “slicing past” sounds all huh? But “slicing through” implies killing so nope sorry. I’m obviously not killing Axel and I don’t want to even imply that for a second you crazy?

NOW WE'VE CAUGHT UP WITH THE CURRENT CHAPTER!

I just freaked out last blog and was like ALL THESE NOTES GO WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER (even though they didn't) I'M JUST GONNA STOP

When you fight/write battle sequences realistically, there’s a lot of dodging. Because you often don’t want to mess with people getting hurt

(especially when Riku doesn’t even know cure. You all remember this discussion? Riku doesn’t know any freaking magic.)

Warp sounds more like Xigbar than it does Axel. Oh well.

(all freaking Org members can warp. Or at least the ones from CoM can. Idr much about the KH2 ones, except Xemnas, who—I don’t even know what Xemnas does. Sometimes it’s dark corridors, sometimes he’s just moving super fast, then that last phase he’s just I don’t know. Oh, but Xigbar warps. I forgot to mention him. He warps. He’s always warped.)

*throws in typical Axel battle quotes I’m sorry it just makes me feel better even though they can sound so cheesy*

DOING A LOT OF COPY/PASTING GUYS HOPE YOU DON'T MIND! I just thought my comments were funny so

I absolutely despise Axel’s fighting style. I just don’t get it and he’s too cocky and I don’t understand him

*looks up Riku’s/Repliku’s attacks on KHwiki* Riku how long have you known all these cool attacks? Like? Then again I doubt you think much about the exact motions that you do when you attack but it’s good to know that these exist

Oh whoops. That is Helm Split not dark break I’m an idiot

Axel stop quoting Riku’s battle quotes what

Agh, need words to describe Dark Impulse. Even though that’s totally not what this is. I was calling it Dark Maelstrom before I went and looked it up and discovered that the attack was more like Dark Impulse but it’s also not like that at all. I started calling it Maelpulse even though it’s more neither of those attacks than it is both of them. If that made sense. Lol.

Yes Riku’s learned some new attacks because I went and looked up his attack list and I’ve actually left out a few that he should already know. That and he wanted to do Impulse—even though it’s not impulse—so I’m letting him. Fancy darkness attaacckss~~

Meck it’ll have to do

Now I have to describe firetooth (Axel's attack)

*headdesk*

Riku you are a lot more like Larxene than you’d like to think nothing!! *whistles innocently*

Okay has my mental mouth just gotten dirtier, or am I channeling the novels or something because I’ve just let Riku swear and Axel swear. (Axel’s isn’t making it in-story, though, and I’ll probably censor Riku. But I let them get away with it in the brainstorms)

YES I WROTE BRAINSTORMS FOR THIS AND I WILL POST THEM. Just not in this blog. Also idk what's going on with all the bold and CAPS right now. I'm in a mood or something

Sorry for repetitive word choice I just. They repeat attacks. There’s only so many synonyms for jump. Only so many other ways to say throw. Really.

OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH COPY/PASTA-ING

I know this was just supposed to be an epic Axel battle, but... Riku wanted to doubt himself. I want to touch on his selfdoubt because Xemnas just threw him across the room and he is questioning it. I can't gloss over it and throw Riku back into anger just for an epic battle. No sir. Selfdoubt. Selfdoubt selfdoubt, selfdoubt.

And speaking of all that selfdoubt

This chapter has become one of my favorite chapters (like ch129) because it's getting all this character development done and it's touching on a core part of Riku's personality.

His strength.

I'm really loving this character development, but I'm bashing my head against the wall for not getting it done sooner because it's been 9 months in-story how has Riku not grown up some yet?

But, to be honest, things like this were never really questioned in Falling to Pieces. That might've been poor writing on my part, I'll admit, but, really, his strength was never questioned.

And this chapter centers on his strength. He was programmed this way. He was programmed to be stronger than Riku, to be the strongest and he points that out to Vexen, at least in his little thought monologue. He points out that didn't you tell me not to be afraid? Didn't you teach me that I have no need for fear? Didn't you always say that I'm supposed to be the strongest?

He was programmed like that. And then he gets a huge ego boost upon coming to this universe because everyone's like four/five months behind him. Strength wise. If he's at Riku's strength in CoM, and my universe hadn't even hit KH1 yet, of course he's stronger.

And that doesn't help.

Because he goes 9 months. 9 months. Believing himself to be the strongest thing in this universe. He has yet to face a challenge that he can't over come. And if there has been one, it's been fore other reasons. It's never been a question of this strength.

And that's why he sits there for a bit. Shellshocked. After Xemnas throws him across the room. Because Xemnas didn't even try. Riku didn't even have a chance to stop him. And to top it off it's been 9 months before he's been thrown across a room like that and the action itself has got to have meaning. Because he's been thrown across rooms before. Larxene happened to make a habit of it. "He's not going where I want him to? Fine. I'll just throw him there."

And I'd love to add in thoughts about that but there's no time for Larxene. He's questioning just how strong he really is. Because from the looks of things he's not that strong. Xemnas threw him across the room. And it was a pretty large room. It's like the hallways in CoM. Except without the steps before the door because that complicates things. (It's sort of like the room where you fight Marluxia the first time in ReCoM. The fight in the actual room and not in that weird otherspace that is apparently a necessity for bosses). But those hallways are fairly large. And Riku was just thrown from one end to the other.

And he is shellshocked.

Because he's really not strong enough to take Xemnas, not if Xemnas can just do that. (I'm sure he subconsciously compares Xemnas to Larxene, because Larxene used to throw him across rooms, and he was never strong enough to take her, so Xemnas is obviously pretty darn strong.) And that's not okay. He has to be strong enough. He was parading around pretending to be the strongest thing ever and that illusion--or whatever you may call it--shatters. And it's not okay. He's no longer the strongest thing ever. He's not strong enough to take Xemnas. He's probably not strong enough to beat Axel. He can't handle it. He really can't. So he turns it all to anger, like he always does, and he takes his anger out on Axel. Not that he's much use against Axel, either.

Because he just can't handle being weak.

It really hits him, every time his strength is questioned. The moment he's put in a position when the first word to pop into his head is weak, or the first word that comes from someone else's mouth is weak. It really hurts him. Because how can he be anything but strong? He's always been strong and not being strong is not okay.

*lets out long breath*

Whoo, ranting!

I think I still have a few notes on the chapter that aren't selfdoubt/battle related...

yes I do!

So there was this thing I was gonna include with Xemnas being kind of mad at Axel “you nearly let them get past you!!” but I cut it because, even though it should’ve gone there and is important, it was more amusing to end the short little scene with “How’s Roxas doing?” followed by 26 groaning. And I think we all need a little comedic relief or whatever after the big ball of selfdoubt that Riku threw at us

And what is this? Notes about how tall people are?

Idk, but Imma throw it here anyway

Haha it always amuses me that everyone is so short compared to Organization members. Like, Namine is half their size. Riku and Sora are only a head taller than Namine, so they’re short, too. (Even so, I’m pretty sure that Roxas and Xion are normalish sized when put next to Org members. Maybe they were just over emphasizing how tiny Namine is)

Actually yeah, just looked, Roxas comes up to about Axel’s shoulder, and Xion’s roughly the same height. (I think she’s just a few inches shorter than Roxas). So… yeah I guess Org members are just freaking tall. (To be fair, though, Riku goes through a growth spurt and he’s suddenly about as tall as them, so….)

Also, Alpha was being a serious jerk. 

Lol

"This is not a manga I can’t just put exclamation marks and have it be acceptable"

Also, fun story! I wrote these chapters around the time that I was having my own... insecurity/self doubt issues I'd gotten a particularly rude review and I questioned whether or not it was affecting Riku. Hah. I suppose it might've been, but...

Idk, I didn't make Riku have a big ball of selfdoubt because I was. I decided that he was being overly full of himself and... hang on I have a note that explains this better:

"This is an occasion where Riku gets overconfident and it's a bad thing. Of course, he ends up fighting Axel and doesn't necessarily have his butt whooped--but he doesn't mow Axel over, either. (I suppose I could add in Xemnas butt whooping him just for payback for getting overconfident)"

Yup. I had Xemnas throw him across the room because I decided that he was being too full of himself and that he needed a dose of reality. Or something like that. 

He's being self-doubty just because that's how he'd normally react, regardless of how I might've been feeling at the time of writing it.

Granted, I'm sure a bit of myself bled into him, but, those things happen, y'know?

ANYWAY!

That's all I have to say.

I'll be posting all the brainstorm stuff for these two chapters in a blog within the next few days. I'm gonna aim for Friday, but you know how I am sometimes with actually posting things when I want to.