Tuesday, June 2, 2015

ATR Chapter 32 - AYYYY I'M GLAD TO BE HERE

AYYYYYYYYY

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


Quick obligatory updates etc

Gigi and Drak's latest Sonic 06 stream was really good plus it made me upset about Silver the Hedgehog, frik this, please watch it (or at least the first hour so you can get maximum Silver feels)

SPLATOON LOOKS RLY GOOD I'LL HAVE IT BY THIS WEEKEND AYYYYY


AYYYY

I've probably already linked to this but it's so good and the PV is so good and also it's. It's slightly relevant to this chapter.



Yeah.

I can't tell you why it's relevant yet but I MEAN IF YOU'VE READ THE CHAPTER AND LOOK AT THESE LYRICS YOU'LL PROBABLY UNDERSTAND WHY

Chapter time!!! YEAAH

read it here

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I’m actually reallyr eally REALLY excited to be here but everyone knows that
Everyone

E V E R Y O N E

I mean come on if you know me at all and know what just went down in this chapter there's no reason you should be surprised, I fucking love this stupid shadow boy


Anyway to start this I did some attempted research as if I were Kairi and searched “my friend has gaps in his memory help” along with “memory gap causes” both of which I got results for Alzheimer’s. Nice. (Not.)

And then I looked up Disassociative Identity/Split Personality/Multiple Personality Disorder info again and I went “ah yes. there is a reason why Kairi assumes this”

And before you go “self diagnosing is bad” or anything like that, this, this isn't a self diagnosis, this is Kairi being desperate and seeing the list of symptoms and going HMM (because I mean: mood swings, eating problems, sleeping problems, + the obvious "I'm not 100% sure I'm speaking to Sora all the time") 

ALSO I REALLY DON'T MEAN THIS TO BE A GROSS MISINTERPREATION OF THE DISORDER, I'M SORRY IF IT CAME OFF THAT WAY, but I mean all Kairi does is go "HMM BUT SPLIT PERSONALITY" and then it's just like. no. it's Shad

I mean that's kind of a split personality but it's not quite the same as the disorder, it's just some of the symptoms obviously line up. 

(Though actually Sora's eating problems are from something else, but, yeah anyway)


ANYWAY

I kept stopping and screaming and having to collect myself every time I started writing this I was just SO EXCITED but I mean OBVIOUSLY I was 


I think a lot of you (or at least a few of you who reviewed) saw this coming but that's alright!! I didn't go out of my way to make sure this came off as a "OMF WAIT WHAT THAT WAS OUT OF NOWHERE" and frankly at this point I'm just glad to be here, so I can talk about him, so I can talk about Shad, so I can talk about the thousands and thousands of thoughts I have concerning him and Sora being in the same body right now (also just Shad being back in general)

Oh and I'm sorry for lying about this (saying that Shad was definitely 100% dead, seeing as he's not) but even if I wasn't exactly tight-lipped in-story (the reveal came along nicely, anyway, I feel) I couldn't dare risk blabbing about it on tumblr obviously and/or saying "no I can't answer that" because that's as bad as answering with the truth. Sorry.


Fun fact: I’d actually had this planned since?? FOREVER??? The initial draft of Dead Inside of course involved Shad head over heels with Kairi, but, he still had that piece of heart to offer to Sora, annnnd I think he KNEW it was his heart he was just like “it’s so tiny it won’t matter” but then it was like “OH, JUST KIDDING, IT DOES MATTER”

And I described it for a while as like a Sora/Roxas connection that magik had, though, perhaps, a Namine/Kairi one woulda been more accurate seeing as Roxas spent most of ATP asleep B))

BUT YEAH I’D PLANNED THIS SINCE FOREVER, SO, I mean I've literally been excited for this since BEFORE Shad died in Dead Inside, alright, I've been waiting for this forever, it's ridiculous, and I'm just plain screaming I'm so glad to be here


OH YEAH FUN BRAINSTORM FACT I'd been planning the "HE'S NOT SICK" route of the reveal for so long and I loooooved it but I also loved the idea of Shad's wolf finding him so here we have the best of both worlds

but I really do love Shad going "HE'S NOT SICK, SHUT UP" and then going "WAIT SHIT oh man i said he's when talking about Sora and I'm Sora shiiiit dammit why this" and he gets all dear-in-the-headlights because, that's just what he does when he panics (note DIch208)

I love that part


"How did he know his wolf was there?" He's Shad, it's his wolf, okay? ((Also I mean even if he was there with his head in his hands he could've probably just plain seen it))

Fun fact about “sack of bricks”, btw.
Initially I wanted Shad to call the wolf “piece of shit” affectionately but figured that would be a No Go even if my intended audience is teenagers, thus “sack of bricks” was born 
((tho it is fitting I mean how often has he sat there with the wolf on his chest and that wolf does weigh A TON, so, like))

Oh and before I forget, yeah, Mahtas means Master, whhhhich was actually stolen from how Fi says it in Skyward Sword coughs coughs coughs BYE

I was gonna have the wolf crawl into Sora’s lap and have Sora pet him except at the point where it could’ve happened it was Nearly The End of the convo so there wasn’t….. quite…. a point…..


This is probably my favorite part of the brainstorm, tbh

“I dunno” Shad answers and maybe he reaches up to run his hand through Sora’s hair—their hand?? Pronouns man “maybe it’ll be easier now that you know about me…. But the fact still stands”

Pronouns man


I was looking through posts from a while back and I’m laughing at myself because I said explicitly “I’m never making SoShad canon” but here we are

I mean, not that they're canon yet but, I'm still laughing at myself because I ship them hard as fuck and I did not intend this to happen

ALSO TBH I GOT SO HAPPY THINKING ABOUT HOW SORA TELLS HIM “WELL NO I DON’T RECIPROCATE THE FEELINGS BUT ALSO: I HARDLY KNOW YOU. MAYBE WHEN WE KNOW EACH OTHER A LITTLE BETTER AND AREN’T SHARING A BODY WE’LL TALK” MMMHHMMMHGHFLSJAFLKSDJFLJ


Obviously I couldn’t actually name Shad "Shad", canonically, but if you were expecting me to not even bring it up I don’t know what to tell you

((And maybe I could've named him that canonically but too bad so sad))

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