Revenge/Larxene Sequence Original Drafts (ASASch79-80)

I know I started uploading the Nothing's Fair Rewrite today, and you are probably expecting a post on that, but... I'm doing posts for NFRW every two/three chapters so I'm not spewing one out every day.

You'll get NFRW commentary tomorrow.

Don't miss: The post about Terra's Lingering Will, which anyone playing KH2FM/2.5 should look at (if only to use the trick on other bosses like the Saix Data Replica, who I swear is impossible to beat otherwise)


Revenge/Larxene Sequence Original Concept stuff

The Original Riku-goes-after-Larxene-and-Namine-eventually-stops-him bit (ATRch11-12 correspond)

The Original Revenge Sequence HB Showdown (ATRch16-17 correspond)

The Original Tag for this Sequence (which actually only has posts made after the second draft of the HB showdown OH WELL)

NEW: Liner notes for the "You're Worth More Than Ashes" mix


And while I'm going to talk about those drafts specifically, I'm going to start with:


Initial Concepts for this Sequence (ABUSE MENTION TW)

This idea was actually spurred while I was reading Divergent--or, not Divergent. Whichever one is after it. Insurgent?

One of the characters, Four, (sorry for spoilers but I don't think this is major enough to really?? yanno) is a victim of abuse, and he is forced to work with his father (his abuser) for a while. Well, not work together, but they are on the same side and have to work on the same compound. I think. I might be wrong. It's been two years.

Anyway, there was a scene in Insurgent (pretty sure it's Insurgent) where Four takes and regurgitates the abuse tactics his father used on him and uses them on his father--briefly, for a strike or two, but

I literally had to close the book, put it down, and walk around my house about three times before I was emotionally composed enough to continue. I can't say if it's because I'd already related Four to Riku (I might have, I forget), or what, I just remember I described to myself as "if Riku had used Larxene's medicine on her."

And that stuck with me.

And a couple weeks later, I was waiting in some library for, I think, a free eye exam, and I had my notebook and a scene clear in my mind and I just wrote. I wrote Riku doing that, though with darkness and not lightning bc he can't use lightning and it wouldn't work if he could, and I... I wrote it.

That's how this started.



Chapter 79

This is what I wrote in my notebook, though I may not have quite gotten to Namine showing up, I don't remember. Maybe I did. I'd have to find the notebook again and I don't care that much.

I actually really love this version of Namine saving him, taking a lightning bolt (was it three?) for him, though it didn't end up in the final draft for obvious reasons. (The main one being, as I said, there were more people on scene than I'd originally accounted for and there was no need).

And, obviously, as I think I've said, what he did this time worked. The darkness did hurt her. It did not in the final draft because she was immune to it--something I did not foresee before writing this.

In this draft, it did hurt her. He did not just try to hurt her, to torture her like she did him. He succeeded.

I don't want that to be overlooked.

And I really, really do like this version of the sequence it is good.

NOT THAT THE OTHER VERSION IS BAD. THAT VERSION IS ALSO GOOD.

But, yanno.

I don't really know what to say besides gushing??

I like how Namine resolves this though I really love them arguing in the middle there, and how Namine compares Riku's voice to ice--cold but threatening to break--and how they both fumble but are yelling because they've never argued before and

I like what Namine says to him I like the whole "I'm not asking you to forgive and forget I'm just asking you to let it go" and Riku just "I can't I've tried" a mess about the whole thing

I love this.

It could not have worked in the final draft, because Namine's more antsy, because in the final draft it is about more than just Larxene, and cannot so easily be resolved.

But it's still really good.


Chapter 80

I'm not sure when I decided that Larxene would come after Riku, but I know it was because "well she's still alive and... this is AU so why not?"

Riku seeing her and panicking--because his darkness high has long since fled--was something we kinda got to keep in the final draft, along with him using Vexen as a shield (though it was on accident this time). And we get Vexen protecting him and it's... great.

There was another initial draft where she shows up she corners Riku and Riku loses his blade AND THEN NAMINE SHOWS UP and she kills Larxene but I... I liked Vexen protecting Riku and later the HB gang protecting Riku a lot better, so that's what I went with.

I've talked about this initial draft before, notable because everyone throws protect spells around at each other. And, y'know, I like this version of the scene, too.

But I don't like it as much as the other version, which is so good because Aerith throwing a Holy at Larxene.

I talk about the decision to go with the other draft over this one here.


That's all I have to say!! I hope you enjoy these original drafts, along with the Nothing's Fair Rewrite!! I'm really excited for it and the future of All that Remains.